Green Witch Ways

Spiritual Detox

2011-10-02T15:58:00.000-04:00

Argh... and Huh? The Frustration, and the Confusion.

I begin with the ending: I am currently thinking that I am atheist right now...I am going to do more research. This is to become a clean slate. A Spiritual Detox program. As I do still want a spirituality but not the feeling of anything forced. My thought on the matter is to detox myself. Take a total look outside of it all. Then if Neo-Paganism is my true path... I will return. I will return better for it.

Can I be pagan without the belief in a deity? I never grew up with a strong sense of religion/faith - it was always lax. I have struggled with being Solitary for the same reason I never opted for Online Classes when I was earning my Degree. I am not good at being my own leader. I need a like mind.[originally I went on a tangent that really doesn't help this post]

I am easily swayed by ideas that get bombarded on me. These are not good things to have around someone who would like to be more spiritual, but is struggling: House. Family Guy (Seth MacFarlane Enterprises, if you will). Scrubs. And other shows that feature atheistic views in addition to the science shows I have always enjoyed. (House is the only show here that I do not really like on my own, it is E's show) Then "lately" they have officially found the parts of the brain that proves Man created God. Our biology created the need to place a deity as the answer to the currently unanswerable. Some use the logic we possess to break the cycle, sort to speak, and accept science and atheism.

E has a more agnostic view; says she knows there must be SOMETHING out there. But not Judeo-Christian or Pagan. Because there have been times when things have been bad and she has asked for the strength to carry on or for something to happen or whatever -- and often it can be as small as she is running late to pick me up from work and she asks for very few red lights... nothing monumental - but what are the odds that this time she picks me up the lights are in her favor when often at the same time they are not. Mini Miracles means a higher power. She knows I've always wanted to have a partner in faith; but that wasn't really her thing. Thru recent conversation, she thought that maybe she should have tried harder for me. But I told her I didn't want that, I wanted it only if she wanted it – and she doesn't and that is okay. This is my bag not hers.Then there is me, I don't seem to buy it anymore that being a proof of the Divine – the law of averages and chance. Chaos theory. Happenstance. Nature still awes me; but a higher power... that I am not so sure about. Yes somehow we muddle through all the BS. But that is just because nothing happened to prevent us from waking up in the morning unable to face it. I am still okay with past lives, I think; so that makes me think that perhaps I believe there is still a soul. Then that begs the question: Can person have a soul without a deity to be in charge? Can you have one without the other?

I wish I was able to go to a congregation or coven or fellowship. Something. But it would have to be under specific conditions in order for it to work for me.

I hope I can come to peace with myself over this. I want to be a stronger person. Without science and religion butting heads. With luck I will figure this out. I wish I wasn't lost.

I end with the beginning: I am currently thinking that I am atheist right now...I am going to do more research. This is to become a clean slate. A Spiritual Detox program. As I do still want a spirituality but not the feeling of anything forced. My thought on the matter is to detox myself. Take a total look outside of it all. Then if Neo-Paganism is my true path... I will return. I will return better for it.

Lammas Celebration

2011-08-05T06:22:00.000-04:00

Okay I am posting a bit late, but hey if I posted my last entry on time, I wouldn't have been behind :-) Amazing in the logic department, n'est pas?

Okay, remember how many moons ago I told you we were going to try to celebrate the holidays in much the same fashion as we did when we were Xian --- y'know keeping it simple, making it easier to get our feet wet without a lot of worry about doing this that or the other "right".

Well due the emotional upheaval Lammas-proper was ... we had our little thing on Wednesday. We celebrated with a couple of corn dishes, a Honey Grog and we had cubed steak and I made nobake cookies. Plus we watched a movie together (Mom, E & me) -- Some Like It Hot. When dinner was being made we each took a part. I did the no-bake cookies and the cubed steak (which was coated with a sesame ginger sauce and cooked on a foreman grill), Mom did the bread, E did the Grog and Fritters. It was kinda nice :-) Then we got side-tracked and forgot to color our lammas color pages :-/ Oops!

The Recipes

Honey Grog
No Bake Cookies
Corn Fritters
Corn Bread with Honey (Kitchen Witch's Cookbook by Patricia Telesco pg 57)

Lammas Brings Change - End to a Drama

2011-08-03T06:32:00.002-04:00

(not sure when I'll post... written 8/2/11 9am)

Wow... I don't remember if I mentioned before, all the BS Brian put Mom, E and me through lately is now over!

Let's see if I can nutshell this for you without all the DRAAAAAAAMA. (This may be a big nutshell, and some drama may remain, but I think I weeded it down considerably.)

Backdrop: Brian was in Las Vegas for like 2-4 weeks in the '90s, able to essentially spend what he wanted to because a friend agreed to front his living costs until he got secure (with limits, not forever, this was a former boss turn friend). So of course without so many real worries Vegas was a wonderful place to be. Then he came back home (I forget what the "reason" was, but I believe it truly boiled down to the free ride was over because he put no effort into putting his big boy briefs on and getting settled; secondary seemed Brian and E's dying mother) So he got it into his head that Las Vegas, Nevada was a wonderful place, much better than the small town we live in where he never gets anywhere and everyone and everything has a beef against him. ((Amazingly no matter the issue - he is NEVER EVER at fault/wrong, it is an outside force, the universe, another person, even the calendar itself can be what is wrong, but not him)) ... So he was going to get back to Vegas one day. Then in 2000 or 2001 their Mom dies. Sometime after she is gone E moves in with us when their father becomes overly aggressive in his decline with alzheimer's.

2005 - April 2011

Then in August 2005 their father dies... Long drama later. We talked to Dad. Dad agreed he should not be homeless and said Brian could stay about 2-4weeks until he found a place to stay. Well... before that timeframe was up, my father died. So.... years later... this is the longest couple of weeks ever!

Remember Vegas - yeah maybe about a year after moving in and he starts into "get used to not having me around, don't depend on me" -- did I mention that with Dad dead his rent became the bulk of the grocery money. So after a while, when his talks got really regular Mom decided to get her benefits early because we figured with the way his behavior was at that time we'd could essentially wake to find him gone. (With this decision, so of course a penalty I think was enacted on how much she could receive) Still a year or two later -- Brian is still around.

Then some drama happened with Wally World in Feb/March 2011 where he was employed and instead of ever being intelligently proactive during a crisis (or life in general) - he did things half-assed & assumed a alot. This helped propel him to the GRAND PLAN... Quit Job. Collect 401k. Leave for Vegas.

April - Aug 2011
What happened with Brian sans all the drama and foolishness (there is enough drama to write at least 1-2 good paragraphs on just about every bullet point related to him):

Family Meeting called by Brian - Mid April 2011

April 22 would be his last day at Wally World
Collect 401k
Be leaving for Las Vegas by end of June
said all he needed was himself, backpack and maybe a duffel - he was too materialistic last time
Was agreed that Brian would call Family Meetings to update us on his status as needed and to let us know if there was ANYthing we could do to make the transition smoother.

No Family Meeting called - second to last week of June

Used sister as middleman to ask for 2 week extension
She asked if he changed his mind about the Grand Plan -- he denied
He was not ready - needed more time (for what?? he has had technically since March when the idea of leaving truly took seed and could have picked away at preparation since then)
I was out-voted for letting him stay (reason - much previous drama and wrong-doings that isn't listed here)
Granted - Mid July he would be out of the house - he paid rent for that time

About 4 days before he should be leaving

Brian middlemaned E again saying he needed more time
again she asked if his mind was changing and again he denied
She advised him to call Family Meeting for us to discuss
He refused to call meeting
When I am told of this -I am pissed - doesn't take a brick wall to see a pattern

Family Meeting called by E and I - About 3 days before Extension ending

Basically we allowed a last extension - August 1 is his LAST day allowed in the house
he would not have any means to get to Las Vegas if he remained
he was offered an opportunity again if he changed his mind - and if so he would be REQUIRED to serious begin searching for a new job -- he denied a change of mind again
We offered up again we'd be available to assist in any way
In no uncertain terms we verified with him that he understood his last day would be Aug 1

About July 22 or 25

he attempts to put E in the middle again - to ask for another extension (seriously?!)
She tells him she does not have this authority
He would have to come talk to me to see if I would grant the extension - since it was painfully obvious where I stood during the last Family Meeting and neither Mom or her would go against that without me giving the okay first
She said that she wasn't sure what I would say - but he would not be granted an extension if he does not talk to me first or call Family Meeting to talk to me
He refused to talk to me - previous Family Meeting decision would remain in effect

He started to really to get himself squared away at every opportunity said that he "didn't have enough time", that he "wanted to leave on his own terms" and he feels that he is "being rushed and not leaving on his own terms" (mind you most of this was said only to E)

This past weekend he sold whatever he could at a yard sale (omitting major drama from that) a friend even stopped by to spend a couple hrs with him each day of the yard sale with him - plus bought some stuff

August 1

His same friend was kind enough to spend the morning with him before taking him to the bus station to start his "we will see what will happen" journey
He left the house at 1pm yesterday
Let's just say it has been kinda weird
However a certain sense of negativity has definitely left the house
E has her own issues to come to terms with - like he is not the same brother as the one who essentially raised her growing up and since her teenage years (not JUST recently) he has turned into the guy who is very selfish and inconsiderate of those he lives with - with only short glimpses of the Guy Who Was.
However since departure Brian and E have had some phone calls for status.

Our plan since his departure

to get what is needed to air out and cleanse his old room both mundanely and spiritually
to paint the room (we already got landlord permission about a week or two ago to paint the house as/if we are able to)
The room will then (according to current plans) be transformed into a sort of storage slash Alter/Spiritual Room for me.
Ideally the rest of the house will follow the pattern of cleanse and paint and begin to feel more homey again

I am sad in that Brian was the last of her family. Parents dead. Both sisters estranged. And any continued relationship with Brian will be if he chooses to remain proactive with her and contact her via phone or email. So it could fizzle out into a non-relationship if he decides to give up or it is too much work. All the drama could have been prevented if he would have handled things differently.

So Lammas brought the fruits of his decision made back in March/April. We now have our own opportunities to better our situation without his daily negative chatter and input. With luck we will be able to free up some room in the bedroom and have room to exercise more. Be that in the bedroom or even make the living room feel better and have that double as a health room.

Originally we had planned to do things in honor of Lammas but the culmination of this event sucked the energy right out of it. Better luck with the next holiday.

new changing florida pic

2011-06-21T18:03:00.002-04:00

take a look on my Changing Florida page for my Summer Solstice picture!

Holy Words on Kindle Working Niiiicely

2011-05-24T06:18:00.001-04:00

So cool.

Got the TOC to work great -- can click on the title in the TOC and go right there!! Plus I can scale the text with no problem!! I sent the doc to the free kindle email associated with my device and voila!! I ended up having to reformat the doc from the original -- but it worked out which is what is important!!! It's nice to know that if I want one of my prayers or blessings or if I am unsure of what I want - I can still thumb through it and find some inspiration. Maybe one day I will pen my own and make it available for all to share with me. I was afraid that this project would be cursed with frustration and not-quite-useful usefulness. But I persevered. So happy now with this little volume. I plan to make more as I am able and as the Muse moves me to do so. :-)

Holy Words ARE ON my Kindle!!!!

2011-05-21T08:13:00.000-04:00

Please start the semi-fanfare!!

When I sent the word document to the kindle account for free conversion into the kindle-file -- it came back with my Table of Contents all weird -- so gotta figure that part out still -- all the prayers and blessings and words of holiness are there. Easy to read but my goal is to have a clickable table of contents because in this case it lost the location of the pages so to use the "go to" feature I would need to know the numerical location the kindle assigned parts of the page -- weird and don't get it. Other than that would be to go through each "page manually" until I found it or did a specific search for what I was looking for.

However the PDF version keep the formatting intact. Except the Table of Contents is NOT clickable -- but it IS correct -- i.e. all my listings truly are on the page indicated -- I can just use the "go to" method and voila!

Holy Words to be on my Kindle

2011-05-19T06:24:00.000-04:00

Since you can have your own documents on Kindle... I have formated / created a collection of "Holy Words" -- Mostly prayers & inspiration I have found along the way. Since so far I carry the Kindle in my purse, I figure it can be really easy to pull it out to get me words of comfort and words for a mantra... to say over a candle at work... whatever I feel I need at the time. So far none of it is penned by me originally, so I cannot have it available for sharing with people.

I have not yet put it on my Kindle because I am waiting until the battery goes and I have to charge it so that it can charge while transferring and not recharge when it is not depleted. Same way I treat my iPod. I will update you either on this post or a new one if there are major issues or if I get really tickled with the results.

A New Soul!

2011-05-18T08:13:00.001-04:00

I meant to post this when we got it. But we were having internet issues.
This is the what should have been posted on 05/10/11....

Previous post told how we found out about the crappy Jeep deciding to basically die and cost too much. We were lucky to get 17 miles to the gallon.

Well after telling my coworker my vacation week yesterday -- she said Kia was having a sale - kinda a summer thing or something. OK. Then when I got off work E said that when Mom got off earlier, Mom said her friends at work said Kia was having some deals. So she did some figures. Hmmm... seems like sign! So I agreed that we could go down to LOOK - until we start signing things - nothing has happened. E said that the Ideal monthly payment would be around $300 -- and $350 was the total max and that max would include major toughness for us. Besides, since Thursday she's been researching Kias... we had an idea when we went in.

We went to the Kia dealership looked at and test drove a Forte... they crunched the numbers and said our monthly would be in the bracket of 402-410 or 415 -- I forget the end number now. E was starting to cave, she's like "well we need a car..." I said "no. where would it come from. no. we will go home and talk about it. no we aren't doing this"

This is when the Sales Manager came into play and also brought our attention to the Soul. Test drive... E likes the way it handles. They crunched the numbers for that one - in addition to giving us a great deal on the Jeep for a trade in and another deal we qualified for... the new bracket was closer to 300...

Yea!!!

So we began to talk in earnest.

After talking to the banking/finance lady in the dealership... and opting for a little more coverage considering how many miles we put on the vehicle... We walked away with a monthly payment of about $325 and change!!! Big plus is that this car should give us about 25-27 miles to the gallon!!!

Wanna see the Kia Soul that we have named "Phoenix" so named because of his color and the fact that we have emerged from another "fire" that life has handed us. (You can get with this or you can get with that...)

Picture taken around 7:30/8pm when we got home from the dealership

Thank you Lord and Lady for this gift.

From Execellent to Shitty in 72 hrs

2011-05-06T10:31:00.001-04:00

This week was supposed to be my vacation. Lets see if I can give an accurate summary...

Monday - Zoo Day. Somewhere in the 80s with a breeze. Cooler than last year it seemed. Slathered on the sunblock (although later found out we missed two spots and so was a smidgen burned) Did not feel the need to overly use my umbrella for shade. Took over 800 pictures with the new camera. I have not gone through them yet - just transferred them. -- However when I transferred the power decided to brown out in the middle and then I spent the next hour getting about 300 pictures off the camera -- it kept giving me a hard time -- kept ejecting itself, saying shit was corrupted. This might have been a sign for the week to come or it could just be that shit happens then you should move on. Don't remember much else about Monday. I swear, sometimes it really really sucks to live in the moment. I end up not remembering a lot of details or smashing every event kinda together on the timeline.

Oh wait the brain works -- on our way home from Zoo we stopped by the Super Target they have. We just have regular Targets. I have been thinking about and heavily researching ereaders. I knew I did not want a Nook -- mom has one and since for the past few years she has decided to be a stuck up teenager with her behavior - I did not want a Nook for that reason, plus I was not impressed with it and had a problem with the esthetics. If I could find in a store the same price or better that I found on Amazon - I was going to get a Kindle. Found same price $114 -- the $114 price is what you get if you accept commercials as your screensaver and as a little banner at the bottom of the homepage -- that's it no interfering in books. No biggie. Plus I got the leather cover made by Amazon Kindle for Amazon Kindle for $59.99 -- with taxes only $184.43! About $2-4 cheaper than buying just the Kindle with no commercials which they also had at the store!!! At the checkout Mom was like: "was this just a spur of the moment thing?" sounding like a spoiled brat "did you look into it?" without looking at her I said at the same time as E "I did research, seriously. My original want was from overseas - but I didn't want the possibility of dealing with customs, it is more open source, and I tend to support that." What I didn't tell her is that I wanted to buy one from a store IF I could, so that any issues could be taken care of sooner -- ideally. As in returns. As it turn out -- E said that mom settled for the Nook because she couldn't afford the Kindle (probably non commercial is the only one she'd consider) and more importantly her little "friends" at work have ereaders Kindle/Nook. And she loves to follow the crowd nowadays and still claim to be a woman of her own mind who scoffs at followers! Teenager. So for me that made it sweeter. She got thrown down a peg a little bit cuz she was always hoity toity because of her Nook, then I get a Kindle, and then she acts all pissy for the rest of the day because I got something she wasn't willing to save for. I know I shouldn't feel that way - karma and all... I am trying to be better. At least I know I did not get a Kindle BECAUSE mom had originally wanted it.

Backstory: This will probably be our last vacation where we go somewhere for a few years now. This is only our 3 year doing a vacation where we go somewhere. As you know, our vacations consist of carefully managing money through the year, savings, et cetera -- Now, due to E's brother deciding to quit his job (as of April 22nd - last day at work) and abandoning us to move to Nevada (Las Vegas) by the end of June when he should have his 401K check... BTW no plans once he is out there - dumbass true -- but he is not welcomed back should he decide he changes his mind - once the door shuts behind him that is it -- had he had a plan to truly make a life for himself out there and that failed - sure welcome back -- but since he refused to create this "Master Plan" with any logic behind it -- he can of course come back to the state -- but he can only stay maybe 2 nights in the living room at most --but he ain't living with us no more! He has hung abandoning us at some point over our heads for years now. Knowing we depend on his income and his manual labor and just another body to have home when things need to be done. This sounds like the master plan of an extreme juvenile doesn't it? The kicker is this egocentric, dude with illusions of grandeur, and other issues is actually nearly 50 years old!! So yes some of this could come with the mid life crisis scenario. But he his mind firmly set. So whatever, we have done everything we can.

Tuesday -- was a fairly lazy-ass day since Monday was the zoo and the previous 3 days were spent shopping.

Wednesday -- went to bi-monthly doc appt, Big Lots. An aquarium. Walmart. Golden Corral. None of this is listed in order. Still a relatively good day. The engine light came on Jeep. So we figured we take it in for a looksee on Thursday -- with telling them we only have X much on the cards, so we need to prioritize.

Thursday -- this is when the shit hits the fan. We go in at opening to the car place -- maybe an hour or so is all that is needed to check everything a top off our liquids. Now... the manager is cool he knows our situation. He knows we do our best for upkeep but can't figure out where some of the fluid is burning off at -- he topped us off and we are to return Saturday because we shouldn't go thru a quart of oil in month let alone the couple quarts we lost in just a couple weeks. Basically with everything else he discussed with E -- the Jeep is on its last wheel. Got three wheels in the grave. The motherfucker was just paid off!! We have put so fucking much into upkeeping this thing all for nothing . Everytime we turn around there is something else. FUCK!!!! Now we need to rehaul the budget and somehow manage a car payment in our already strapped funds since we now need to start picking up the slack that we will be missing from Brian being out. And dear old Brian sees no problem with leaving us this way. But that is not all kiddies. We get home. We piddle around for a while then we look at the UPS site to see exactly when the Treadmill we ordered will arrive -- we know it should be by Thursday. Wait what is this!! The site says there was an interruption in delivery - return to sender. WTF!!! E called the shipper and they were not informed of any return. However we could reorder and and when it comes in to them they can refund us -- we got this fucker on sale -- it holds up to a 400 pound user (I am 360) we got it for like $5-600 I forget now -- what is the likelihood of getting another sweet deal like that. After a little runaround and phone tag -- we got to the bottom of it and the manager at the UPS warehouse said there was some holes in the box and they assumed we'd refuse it. That was their description we could pick it up ourselves if we wanted though -- we had 2 hrs before they closed -- with good traffic we could get to their location in a part of the next town over we were unfamiliar with in about an hour! The manager that we were told to ask for showed us the box. Yes it was ratty -- but if it was of such poor quality they never should have accepted it from the shipper. Plus apparently at 149 lbs it was suppose to be by UPS Freight. But UPS regular accepted from the shipper in CA and brought it to FL -- the place we were at then was the second and last FL UPS spot. It did not appear that the treadmill itself was damaged -- the box looked like it had seen better days. But if this was such a concern between contacting the shipper and their records they should have been able to figure out our email since we were able to get a tracking thing for the website. THen they could have asked us. See from moment (according to the website) of arrival and when it said Out To Delivery there was a 4 hrs delay -- it took them 4 hrs to decide to return it. Luckily the 1-800 UPS chick was wrong at it wasn't still on the truck and we were able to pick it up ourself. A guy plus the manager got the thing in the back of the Jeep -- but not without carelessly popping off a plastic piece to the trunk during the pushing and shoving. 24hrs ago E and I would have been pissed -- now it's like fuck it the stupid Jeep is pretty much dead now anyways. Last vacation something happened to the Jeep too!!

We get home only to discover the Orkin guy came by. We just got Orkin this was suppose to be the visit by our actual tech - the one sent out on our first day was a sub because our scheduled guy was swamped. Fine - we could talk to the regular guy on his first visit. But because of how the family dynamic is set up --we needed to set up appointments --- We scheduled LAST FUCKING WEEK for this dude to be here on the 18th between 9-12. Yesterday was the 5th -- there was no reason for him to come. When they come they charge -- we have NO MONEY in the account for that charge. They fucked up. E called and presumably everything is fixed on the financial side -- they took off the charge. But the dude (BTW Brian was home and had no clue -- he shouldn't have anyway the dude was scheduled for the 18th - someone dropped the ball on Orkins side) the dude didn't even check the "report card" traps that we had around, when we got home E had to see a huge roach in one still alive but dying in it -- they are on a short fuse with us ONE mistake ONE misspoken word ANY reason and we are cancelling them. Chris was our tech from a different bug place and he is trying to start up his own bug company -- we might give him a shot -- or look into other non-big names. We are tired of getting burned.

Today is Friday last official day of vacation. Gotta get mom to work to find out her schedule for next work week since now vacation is done. More grocery shopping is to be done I guess.
Goina go to my first session on the tred.

This must get better. this must get better. Why does it seem like every time I try to recapture my spirituality again so I can be strong again and bring a positive change to our live some shit like this happen to make me stumble back several feet?! I accept all good thoughts and warm feelings, good-luck spellworks, anything positive sent our way -- even if it is for us to just muddle through.

Sometimes it takes a brick wall to fall on you

2011-04-18T20:13:00.000-04:00

Danilo Rizzuti (click)

Why is it sometimes the best answers take the longest to dawn on you, but when you receive your epiphany you discover the answer was not only staring at you right in the face, but it was uber easy and simple??

So for the longest time I've / we've been trying to figure out the pagan holidays with all the lore and meaning and everything.

Basically too much information. Too daunting.

So then it hit me -- what did we do when I was mainstream?? Basically we did Christmas and Easter. Christmas is a day where everyone in the family gets gifts -- like it is everyone's birthday on one day. There was never any talk in our house like "remember the story of Jesus' birth... nativity... et cetera" However I do remember the one ceramic nativity scene Mom used to have out. And most of the tree ornaments were a mish mosh and not heavily religious. Our tree topper for the longest time was a little red-head girl with a cookie jar. (that got lost over the years). Easter was a time of colored eggs and chocolate -- which means deviled eggs and a belly ache if not careful! So naturally the easiest transition has been Ostara and Yule -- basically doing much of the same as I did when in mainstream.

So now I have to do the same with the other holidays. Use activities/foodstuff listed in books and sites. Then once I am comfortable we can work in the lore and meanings et cetera. Because growing up it wasn't like a lesson each year -- questions were asked then answered, but until they questions came up we just honored the season with the activities and food.

Simple n'est-ce pas?!

Healing Flame

2011-03-22T15:20:00.000-04:00

Well, I stayed home from work today because I didn't really sleep last night due to menses cramps and backaches.

So.. I took advantage of my recently cleaned off alter -- I neglected it for quite some time, disgraceful it was. Now it is dust free and arranged in a way where when it gets walked by things shouldn't fall -- I have no choice in its location.

This morning I lit a candle and recited a morning prayer. I felt better having done it.

Sometimes I still use the office to do candles... feel good then too.

SuperMoon!

2011-03-20T17:14:00.001-04:00

I took total advantage of this Supermoon thing!! True, I do not have a tripod that works for the DSLR... so these pictures are not quite as pretty and crisp as I would like. But you can see the craters and the lines on Her face. (click to enlarge)

See... it was great! Until the across the street neighbors decided to cast fireworks (yesterday).

But it not detract from the Ostara gift that it is. :-) Maybe the next time I can get a shot with a tripod and between trees near the horizon.....

Caught in Flight

2011-03-03T20:02:00.003-05:00

I was "recharging" outside in Nature this evening. Just out on the driveway. Cool breeze and taking some pix. Caught some of the local fowl in flight going home for the night.

Click to enlarge

Thought I would share.

You can kinda see where the one duck was quacking :-)

E To Learn Wheel of Year

2011-02-24T22:03:00.001-05:00

E would like to learn a little more about the Wheel of the Year. Llewellyn is offering discounts of the 2011 books (almanacs and such) - one of those is a date book that starts at Samhain; written in a way she thinks will be easy for her to read and understand. I gave her access to my books (I have other books dedicated to the Sabbats) I told her all my books are open to her.

She is unsure of how much she'll "get into it". She wants to understand. She wants to be able to be like "Hey Honey, since Beltane is coming up, what about doing this or that for the holiday?" Just a little sum sum. Because she does recognize that when I was more practicing I was happier. I think this way of thinking for her stems from the other day (or maybe it was yesterday) I asked her if she thought I was still a happy person.

Basically the answer is yes - but not the same. All the shit that has happened in the last decade has taken a real toll on me. Pollyanna I am no longer. I have not fell into a real depression -- yet -- knock on wood.

She's not looking to convert, just mostly to help me. However if some of her views change as a result of new information - that is just gravy.

We are fairly avid readers but sometimes we have spells where we cannot read. We cannot concentrate enough to comprehend what was just read; cannot get into the story or information contained within. Right now she is going through one of these dry spells. So it may not be soon that she can start on this project.

Any ideas come to mind to help us?

The Seasons - Exposed

2011-02-22T20:44:00.002-05:00

IgotitIgotitIgotit ...(breath)... I ... got ... it!

I am officially the owner of my complete DSLR set. Got the body and starter lens on the 17th and this afternoon I was able to pick up 55-300mm lens! So I got it all together now. So happy. Need to work on the filters and other odds and ends I want.

Among other photography projects.... Now I can try to document the Florida Seasons as depicted -- literally-- at our house. Talk about local. Now maybe after sooooo many years, if I can see the changes, maybe then I will have more appreciation (it's a theory)... Plus I have the ability to do video on the DSLR -- so maybe I can say "It's cool. It's hotter than hell out here. Rainy, been rainy - or first time it's rained in a while." Whatever.

I will post the still shots here. Maybe post them on the side bar as well -- don't know yet.

My goals are attainable and simple. If I can remember to do it monthly, kudos. However I am emphasizing the Solstice/Equinox timeframe.

2011
Spring (March: 18, 19, 20, 21 or 22)
Summer (June: 19, 20, 21, 22 or 23)
Fall (September: 21, 22, 23, 24 or 25)
Winter (December: 20, 21, 22, 23 or 24)

2012
Spring (March: 18, 19, 20, 21 or 22)
Summer (June: 18, 19, 20, 21 or 22)
Fall (September: 20, 21, 22, 23 or 24)
Winter (December: 19, 20, 21, 22 or 23)

A textbook carnation

2011-02-12T09:32:00.001-05:00

I have been thinking of making a bunch of paper flowers to sell at work for CFF -- every year in the fall we raise money for CFF, I thought if I could make a bunch of blooms & if each one looks real good, maybe people would buy them and we'd give the moneys to CFF :-)

So onto the experimentations....
the textbook carnation

front view

side view

seriously, made from the literature book I used in school!

Then this one is made from tissue paper, I don't think it really shows up but the tissue paper has glitter pieces embedded in it.

front view

side view

What do you think, would you buy one for $1 for CFF??

Plus these would make great Springtime decorations...

52 Weeks of Pagan Art Journaling - Begins

2011-02-04T17:48:00.002-05:00

Well, for many a moon (like Winter 2009), I have had a blogger called WitchWays 101. I liked the name, and wanted to make sure I could have it when I wanted it. I am going to use it as a place for the exploration side of my Pagan Path. This will include my final draft of my "Exploring My Gaia" that I gave you all the first couple of paragraphs from.

This is not to say I am going to stop posting my pagan-related things here. No, no, no -- this should remain as it has. If it starts to change, lemme know I am screwing this up! :-D

Somethings may or may not find themselves crossposted --but time will tell with that.

I will attempt to keep both. I view it kinda like getting ready for ritual for those who do the cleansing of body and space including a bath and anointing with oils and or adorning themselves with ritual-only jewelry. I am hoping this will become a trigger for me, that I am being more "pagan" right now for lack of a better explanation.

So without further ado.. please take a look at the first two posts from WW101

Oh Applesauce! ...from scratch!

2011-01-17T10:35:00.001-05:00

Last night we had the best applesauce we ever ate! Normally for me, applesauce is no big whoop. For the most part store-bought is not the right taste for me, my favorite store bought one. when I am in the mood for applesauce, is Mott's Scooby Doo's Pirate's Punch – aka fruit punch. Pretty sure it has no real nutritional value at this point, but I will eat it. Probably much more sugar than apple.

Anyways... in the Circle Round book I have, they have a recipe for Easy Applesauce. We adapted it for what we had on hand and came up with...
* 3 apples -- good sized, real handful -- peeled and coarsely chopped
* 1/2 cup Apple & Eve® Seasons Select Spiced Apple Juice
* 1/2 cup light brown sugar (E likes her stuff sweet)

We like a chunkier sauce so that is what will be described...
In a medium saucepan boil the apples and juice, stirring frequently to avoid burning. Boil until apples are soft and tender. If needed, depending on the type of apples used, add more juice by the quarter or half cup full until it is tender. Boil until little or no juice remains.

Once tender, mash with potato masher.

Add sugar, mash some more.

cool or warm is yummy.

If you like yours less chunky use blender. or add more juice.

Mom normally doesn't really like applesauce -- but one bite and a huge smile and she said it was really good!

You can also use water or cider or regular apple juice. Or add spices like nutmeg &/or cinnamon. Experiment!

Angels in Pagandom

2011-01-13T20:17:00.001-05:00

I was surfin' the WWW and came across this blog entry: Pagans Do Not Believe In Angels

Click image for source

The author is writer and did a piece on Angels. A Pagan un-subscribed to her newsletter because of it saying: “As a Pagan I do not believe in angels and have unsubscribed from your newsletter. Angels are Judeo-Christian and not Pagan” The writer felt bad, always liked Angels, got several books and cards about them. And even wrote about how the definition of angel is messenger, and pointed out that angels/angel-like beings existed in pre-Xian times. Which is a fact I already knew of.

I know of (by way of reading) several Pagans who embrace Angels as a valid being. It may not be within the hierarchy of Judo-Xian, but still there. Angels seem fused with Xianity, but that is only because it's the mainstream religion, ergo dominate the symbolism in society.

Personally, I do not like Angels, even when I was a "Christian". They don't do anything for me. I don't begrudge anyone Angels if They speak to him/her. I am more a Faery girl.

What do you think about Angels? Any personal experiences?

Still Me... Still Average... Year in Review

2011-01-04T06:25:00.000-05:00

After reading DarkMother's entry I did my own.

Year in Review Rules: You take the first line of each month's first blog post from January to December, 2010....

2010 Vanilla Flavored Year

Well, for the past few months (say 3-4) I have had to take at least 1 day off work each month - not an exact month apart, but still one in each calendar month.
Yesterday I went into work and I printed off some prayer cards and pictures of single candles on business card size cards.
I have recently rediscovered my Shrinky Dinks!
Well it has been a bit since I tried on Eclectic Pantheist Pagan (as reflected in my banner).
Does She still Speak
Since about the first of the month, my other teeth have been bothering me.
Quite often it seems a stereotype that seems to come with female pagans is Feminism.
Okay my birthday isn't until November, but E has asked me to find something for makings as funds will be tight (which really isn't an issue for me; my issue is the DECISION!)
I had a first yesterday!
I have been looking at Pagan Rosaries lately.
How does being a Pagan affect your view on Vegetarians? // These are just my personal views for my personal self, I mean no disrepect or insult to anyone.

Well either I missed something in the copy/paste or I skipped a month. I gotta get to work and am not goina play around with it. I see me as an average boring vanilla kinda girl with a few sprinkles thrown in. You guys follow, so you must like sprinkles.

Remember Pandora??

2010-12-30T17:34:00.000-05:00

Does ANYONE remember a Lifetime show called "Pandora"? It was a Friday night show. It showed spells and tarot and witchy things. Well... I did Google it (I have done this off and on for a couple years now, and must of stumbled on the right wording or people recently added it to findable lists)

It did not last even a full season - which is why once I discovered it I was only able to catch 2 1/2 episodes and then couldn't find it ever again!

Apparently it deputed on January 24th 1997 on the Lifetime channel. It lasted 30 minutes and was canceled after about three months. Man, with the way things are now, how Paganism is growing even more, I think some channel - or hell even an online channel - could show it and should do good.

I found zero pictures via Google Images or video clips via YouTube of it.

This is the basic write up that I find....
Astrologer Ellee Devers (aka "Pandora") explores alternative ways of looking at the world through astrology, numerology, tarot cards, herbs and crystals.

a couple other write ups...

"Pandora" ... a celestial show with a little bit of levity. Host/Astrologist Ellee Devers explores alternate ways of looking at the world through astrology, numerology, tarot cards, herbs, crystals, and more.
Valerie Lewis shows you how to repel negative energy on "Pandora" Friday
night on Lifetime Television.
"Pandora" ... a show that takes you for a walk on the spiritual side of life. Host Ellee Devers explores alternate ways of looking at the world through astrology, numerology, tarot cards, herbs, crystals, and more.
Lexa Rosean gives you a spell to reconcile friends on "Pandora" Friday night on Lifetime Television.

Anyways.. if anyone remembers it - do you have any memories?
Do you have any episodes that can be emailed to me?

preservivg the chilly memory

2010-12-24T08:51:00.000-05:00

Okay, I am not really that good at acknowleding and remembering from year-to-year Florida's seasonal changes and how the weather was last year at this time.

So I wanted to document that it really does feel a little like the holidays this year. It has been chilly. And especially on Yule proper I feel I needed it to be special like that and it was! PLUS it was the full moon PLUS it was a lunar eclipse (that I only saw the next morning on Jenandollie's Ramblings of a Newbie Pagan from the YouTube clip she snagged) Our Temps on the 21st were: Hi 67° Lo 47° and the historical average (according to AccuWeather) is Hi 75° Lo 57°. Today is about the same +/- a couple degrees.

The coldest day (AccuWeather) was Tuesday the 7th of December so far at Hi 54° Lo 36° with Hist. Avg Hi 76° Lo 59° and the warmest thusfar weirdly enough was 10 days later on the 17th with Hi 78° Lo 47° and Hist. Avg Hi 75° Lo 57°

I forgot to take a picture of the yard for my idea of documenting the seasons. I still technically have time, but since we plan on getting me that really nice DSLR with the tax return money I figure to wait to be able to have all the shots have the same quality being taken with the same camera. Beside supposedly it has video capability which I think would be cool if it includes sound and then I can document "hey it is kinda hot and muggy, or it's crisp out here, been raining nearly non stop, saw five red cardinals today, y'know whatever...

So not much of a post but I wanted to remind myself that Yule of 2010 proved to be an enjoyable chilly experience.

Prompt: Family and the Holidays

2010-12-23T06:58:00.000-05:00

Prompt: Family and the Holidays

The holidays can be stressful on most people, and I'm sure they can be even tougher when you hold beliefs that the rest of your family is not so fond of....

As you join with friends and family this Holiday season, how do you deal with differences in beliefs that may arise at gatherings? You might think "just don't bring it up", but what if someone else does?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, most of the actual family-relations I have live far away. Mom is the only one that deals with them, they have never asked to talk to me when they call in all of the 21 years we have been here. At most I am a postscript in a card or note sent, and usually that is something I see when it is lying around on a table. That being said - I don't have to deal with them disapproving.

The folks I live with do not have a problem. Mom is in her own way Paganish -- I say ish because she doesn't really follow a harm none attitude -- I know it is a idea that is sometimes hard to put into effect, but that isn't what goes on with her -- she says and does some of the nastiest things sometimes, then when I visit her blog - she posts the harm none stuff (with all its challenges to follow) as if she actually attempts to do it -- she used to practice what she preached -- no more, not that I see. So for me this is stressful not only on the holidays but all year round. ((Basically when Dad died, so did 98-99% of the good in Mom that I saw/witnessed)) I don't mean to bash her, but I do find it to be true, as sad as it is.

Brian is Brian. Giant, depressed, rarely says anything without a negative spin to it. So again all year round stress. And so when it comes to the day when we really sit down to celebrate and exchange gifts -- we will see if he is more tolerable - sometimes on a holiday he is alright.

E is very supportive, she does her best to make things good and stress free. With her, we both basically do our own thing and if Mom and Brian want to participate, fine. But we try to no longer force the family feeling. They both prefer to be in their respective rooms away from us anyway. When we try to engage them in something like watching a movie - often Brian will be better about it -- he is a movie-holic, however at times he will be in and out. Mom 9 times out of 10 makes excuses. She's reading right now... sciatica... Well that would be fine except she used to have her sciatica and her book while spending time in the living room with Dad. So it can be done that she spends time with us.

So yeah -- situation will be normal. I foretell that we will hold our gift-exchange (either before or after dinner, or maybe in the morning, I dunno) but whenever the exchange occurs, afterwards Mom will scurry back into her bedroom and Brian will either lumber back to his bedroom or pick one of his newly received movies to watch.

As far people I deal with verses my celebrating Yule/Winter Solstice and not Christmas -- This year was cool. When they ask what we will do for Christmas -- I say either "nothing" because FOR Christmas we do nothing. or I say "Well we do Yule which was Tuesday, but since we all are off on Christmas we made the whole week holy and starting Tuesday we exchange one gift a day until the weekend where the rest will be exchanged. And E will do a ham and a couple new veggie side dishes."

Some years I explain it is similar to Christmas only we celebrate the Solstice.

Blessed Yule Everyone

2010-12-21T18:54:00.003-05:00

Wishing you all a Blessed Yule!
We won't be celebrating until the weekend as (of course) our respective works are closed for Xmas.
At work I gave 15 Season Greetings cards to coworkers. Totally by me - using my pictures from a zoo trip last vacation. I made the day of a newbie who just started yesterday! So that made me feel all warm and fuzzy and in turn made my day. He was so very happy and truly looked it!

Here is an awesome prayer/blessing from Ceisiwr Serith's A Book of Pagan Prayer

Happy Birthday, Sun!
The whole world is spread beneath you,
wrapped in darkness,
as a present for you to open.

Here's a Solstice Hug for each of you - catch!

Circle Round -- BOOK REVIEW

2010-12-18T13:48:00.003-05:00

Circle Round by Starhawk, Diane Baker & Anne Hill

In a comment on my post: "The Basics 101" this 2 part question was asked: How useful do you think it has been to you and would you recommend?

How useful is Circle Round to me:

I have no children, but I have found this book to be very useful to me. According to my inscription, I got the book June 29, 1999. On and off for the past eleven years I have turned to this book.

It helps that the ladies of the book have written their views and takes on the Craft and holidays. As they are all mothers, children have a habit of forcing you to "play by ear".

This book has reminded me when I need reminding that Ours is not a rigid dogma, that spontaneity is a force that sometimes drives the Craft of the Wise. Sometimes I worry that I am not doing things right because I am Solitary and have no one I feel comfortable with talking to. So it helps that some books reiterate certain known factors for me, to keep me in check, I guess.

The ladies present crafty projects, recipes and even songs. Now I do not read music, but they do have the notes written down kinda like a hymnal book -- so when I found the Circle Round CD I found out what the tunes really sounded like! My only disappointment in the CD is that NOT ALL the songs were included.

Track Listings for Circle Round and Sing
1. Circle Round
2. Moon Folly
3. Fur & Feathers
4. Ocean Lullabye
5. Full Moon Song
6. The Give Away Song
7. Rain Song
8. Place of Power ((one of my favorites))
9. Tree Wassail
10. Return To Me, Beloved
11. The Sun Is Born ((one of my favorites))
12. The Witch Song ((one of my favorites))
13. Holy Water, Sacred Flame ((one of my favorites))
14. New Moon Song
15. Persephone Song ((one of my favorites))
16. Heat of Our Heart's Desire
17. Dance the Gift of the Summer Sun ((one of my favorites))
18. Summer Sunset
19. When You're Magic ((one of my favorites))

The book breaks down each of the Eight Sabbats into little mini sections. First it tells a little history and where on the Wheel of the Year it is placed; then sections are as followed: The Goddess, The God, The Altar, On the Land. It is the On the Land section is where I have to try to focus on, being in Yankee transplant, I see Florida as a barely changing landscape. In this section, at the very end, they remind you to look outside and see what is going on where you live. Notice the changes where you are. (The authors all live in California, so they share what happens to them)

Like in the Samhain Section / On the Land: Are the leaves turning where you live? Are you waiting for the first rain or the first snow? Have you planted bulbs to flower next spring? In the Yule Section / On the Land: Is anything blooming where you live? What is happening to the trees around your house? Do you still have leaves or needles? Do you get snow? Is this year a good one for snow? In the Summer Solstice Section / On the Land: How late does the sun set where you are?

Stories are retold by the authors, they even encourage you to read them first yourself, then retelling them to your kids without the aid of the book. Much akin to our ancient oral traditions, each retelling would ripen with the telling of the tale.

I have done some of the craft projects in the book over the 11 years I've had it. A couple favorites are:

Can Candles -- where you have an old empty, cleaned out soup can, then fill with water and have it freeze solid (can take up to 2 days) when it is ready, cut out a piece of paper to fit the can -- kinda like a label. Draw a design on the paper & tape to the can. Trace the shape by using a nail and hammer to tap through and make little holes spaced apart along the line art. Once completely perforated, remove paper and run can under warm water until ice falls out and voila! Your masterpiece! Simply add votive candle and enjoy.

The Night and Sun -- creating a stand-up paper figure of the Night cradling the Sun within Her arms.

Night and Sun

After the Eight Sabbats are learned about, other life cycles are discussed with rituals/activities and stories... Pregnancy/Birthing, Miscarriages, No More Diapers, Tooth Fairy, Coming into Childhood, Coming of Age/Adolescence, Sexuality, Rites of Passage, First-Blood, Becoming a Man, New Home Ritual, Divorce Rituals, Handfasting as a Family, Death, Deceased Pet...

The elements are given their due, relating their symbolism and the help they can lend, including activities.

Would I recommend this book?
YES!
I would not get rid of this book. Even though E and I will never ever have children and so the "Raising Children in the Goddess Tradition" will not occur in the same light as the authors intended, I AM a Child of the Goddess and God and as such this gentle book will remain to be helpful. So with or without children, I think this book would prove helpful for any Pagan.

I hope I did a good job telling about this valuable book. I've never really done one before.

The Basics 101

2010-12-15T20:51:00.001-05:00

Well...

I recently re-read Circle Round (click to view). Enjoying the stories and information.

Debating whether or not to read the stories to E. Since she shows no real interest in the Craft, she says to share my faith with her - but she wants me to be comfortable - I feel like I am evangelical if I do share too much. Plus she has her own views and they don't always mesh with mine, and since I care so much for her, her opinions and view carry weight. But have been debating this since I got this book about 10 years ago. I probably won't share. Besides she might ask symbolism or origin questions that I cannot answer fully or good enough.

The Complete Idiot's Guide® to Paganism (click) is my current re-read. Enjoying the re-information.

I figure to take myself to basics. I hope to be able to put something back into practice.

I don't really have the ability to do the Craft at home. I might have to try to work it in during my lunch hour. And get myself out of the habit of working during my lunch.

We will see.

I hope to post my current views on various topics, such as reincarnation, the elements, rituals, Gods, Goddesses, et cetera as time goes on. Then I could go re-visit the topics at a later point in time as views change or information to add.

Pagan Rosary - Part II: It is Finished!! :-D (pix)

2010-12-05T14:27:00.001-05:00

In Pagan Rosary - Part I: The Pieces & Parts I showed you my pieces and parts to creating my very first rosary.

I finished it this morning.
Sat it in my salt and laid it out in the sun for purification.

wish you could see it better - but using PhotoBooth is quickest right now

I have been wearing it ever since - I decided to let people see it as just a necklace and I will know what it really is (including Mom & E) every time I tell people about stuff like this it is like when I used to tell people about the stories I was in the middle of writing -- after I told I never finished the story -- likewise I tend not to finish the project or the power seems to be sucked away from whatever "it" is.

Pagan Rosary - Part I: The Pieces & Parts

2010-12-04T18:43:00.001-05:00

Well as you know in Pagan / Witches Rosary I expressed interest in creating a Pagan/Witches Rosary.

In Walmart tonight I was in the craft section and discovered I forgot my list of how many beads I needed. Then I spied a $4 kit. Just gotta change the charm and voila "My-First-Rosary"! I figure it takes out some of the trepidation, plus if it turns out well $4 and charms/pendants = future rosaries.

I found a cute Dragonfly pendant to use. Dragonflies are probably my totem, considering the good luck I have had with them in the past. Like letting me hold one that was a little dazed until I finished walking home; an another let me hold him while got a car ride with windows down, until he became un-dizzy (we dubbed him "Dude" & if I remember he was one of the blueish ones.) And if when I am done it doesn't quite work, I've plenty broken necklaces to use :-)

Well, when I am done (and remember) I will post the final version.

Vegetarian...?

2010-12-03T18:30:00.001-05:00

Prompt: Vegetarian...?
How does being a Pagan affect your view on Vegetarians?

Does your love and respect for nature and living things lead you to stay away from meat? Or is it more based on the nature of the food processing that bolsters your distaste for meat?

If you are of the carnivorous branch of humans, does your Pagan view on life make you feel guilty at all? Does it affect the choices you make when you shop for meat in the store?

These are just my personal views for my personal self, I mean no disrepect or insult to anyone.

This one I have never understood.

Being Pagan has not altered my view on vegetarians - I see it as a wholly unbalanced diet. It is my understanding that our "monkey-ancestors" were able to get out of the trees and onto their feet was because they incorporated meat and eating of bone marrow into their diet; this helped create the needed changes in the brain - of course there were other evolutionary things in effect as well.

My love and respect for nature and living things has not lead me to stay away from meat because PLANTS are alive too. Life requires Life to Live. The animals I cherish eat other animals to live; I am also an animal, from the class mammalia, and therefore Nature has permitted me to eat other animals. A lot of people put the moral spin to it in reference to the conditions animals are raised in for food... And when you talk of morals - they are a choice -- they are not set in stone or law (usually) they are a set of beliefs that a group of people or society consider as a difference of right and wrong; and many morals can be based on stereotypes, prejudices or ignorance. I do not like discovering that some farms are cruel; however unless I am made aware that Store X's brand of "Y" meats is from a farm that does horrible things to get the deliciousness that is their product, only then would I consider boycotting that brand, not laying a blanket on the whole thing.

I am an Omnivore -- I have recently (since being with E, but mostly in the last decade) started experimenting and enjoying all sorts of new Veggies in addition to my traditional meats - it is all delicious.

If I was going to use love of nature for not eating meat I would be compelled to add plants into it because they are alive too, they can feel pain - just not on a wavelength we understand, we cannot see the tears they shed because their way of living is alien to us - we can identify with animals because we are fairly similar, but plants are seen by some as more impersonal objects -- so to include it all (plants & animals foods) would be a eater of products that are so far removed from their plant / animal base that it is ridiculous - and probably supplementing with vitamins.

If someone is a Vegetarian (or any subgroup of vegetarianism) and are choosing to do it, and enjoying and taking any necessary supplements, then more power to you. The only ones I do not like are the fanatics that try to convert or guilt trip others to their way of thinking.. er... eating.

But my ultimate view is that if we tend to see animals that are raised for food give their lives so that we might live, then regardless of their living conditions, it is okay to eat their meat. It is their willing sacrifice for us, they were placed there for us. I could never kill my own food, I am a child of my culture, the wilderness would eat me. I mean I'd like to think I would try, but when it comes to knowing how to skin, and properly remove things as to not ruin the meat, nope -- I would die soon. Enter the supermarket and their pre-butchered cow, chicken and pig. The Mother wants us well fed and provides the means to do it. We are a highly populated country / world, demands are high, sometimes to meet the demand, conditions are not lived through rose tinted glasses. But then sometimes sacrificial characters in myths go through some awful times before they are killed, is it really super different than that?

image's site

I am cool if you're a Herbivore and cool if you're a fellow Omnivore, however if you are a pure Carnivore, please take whatever supplements you need to too, and I am cool there.

Yule / Winter Solstice

2010-11-28T12:47:00.000-05:00

Winter Solstice - Yule
We currently have our (fake) tree up with colorful lights. Right now the only decor on it is the couple faeries/ballerina that Mom bought this year. As the we buy the gifts we are giving to one another, we wrap them and place under the tree. It looks pretty good. Two of mine to E stick out like a sore thumb! My wrapping paper had fallen in between some furniture (I had it all cut and ready for my gifts) and so, being as I wasn't feeling to good at the time, I gave into my laziness and shrugged my shoulders and pulled a couple sheets of drawing paper from my spiral bound Sketch Book. I wrapped with my medium weight paper and drew spirals on one and traced my hand on the other (the hand tracing says "From my hand to yours" - cheesy but ... wha'eva)

Traditionally Yule symbolism seems revolves around snow/barren winters.
I was born in the north ((read: northern USA)) and raised in various "northern states" where all 4 seasons where seen and loved; and it wasn't until the Summer 1989 that I came to Florida. Since then I have not been in tune with Nature's cycles here. I would like to get better about it.

Observation
That is the simplest answer. I really should take my camera and take a picture of the land around the house around the solstices and equinoxes so that I can compare and contrast what I see.

Right now our lawn is mostly brown... dead. It is like 80˚F outside; with a "feels like" temp of 82˚F . Kinda hard to feel the Yule of it. I am so ingrained with my traditional 4 seasons that this journey will be hard. I hope I will not cop out of it. We will see how I do.

Does anyone else live somewhere without the traditional obvious change of the 4 Seasons?

Four Seasons by `hibbary

Pagan / Witches Rosary

2010-11-21T20:31:00.000-05:00

I have been looking at Pagan Rosaries lately.

I want to make one myself, something that I can wear at work without sticking out too much. Some of the students wear theirs like necklaces. So I think I could do it.

First I have to go to Michaels and/or WalMart (boo hiss) to get the beads and fixin's.

If it ever comes to pass I will show it off.

Acheulian Goddess

2010-10-30T08:38:00.000-04:00

As my regular readers know, I have thing for the Neolithic / Prehistoric Goddess Figures.

My 18th Anniversary with E is on the 31st of October (perfect, huh!) then the next day is my birthday -- can never forget an anniversary when it is just hours from your personal one. :-D

Anyways, yesterday we gave one Anniversary gift to one another, we plan to give another today and then any remaining gifts tomorrow for the actual Date.

Well -- my early Anniversary Gift was something she'd been trying to get me for the past 3-5 years (or whenever I first saw it in Sacred Source) But every time she went to buy it, it was out of stock. Until now that is!

So without further ado, my much anticipated Acheulian Goddess replica that can be friends with my Willendorf Goddess mini statuette.

Taken with PhotoBooth - maybe later I will use my real camera so it looks better.

So, as you can see She is large, 5". The following is verbatim from the Sacred Source site about the Acheulian Goddess... Click on the highlighted titles to go to the site.

The Oldest Human Image
Until the past few decades, the famous Willendorf Goddess, carved of bone 30,000 years ago, was held to be the earliest human-crafted work of art and veneration. The Acheulian Goddess predates Willendorf by an amazing quarter-million years, and may be as old as 800,000 years!

It is remarkable to note the similarities between the Willendorf and the far older Acheulian. Both figures are distinctly female, great-breasted with featureless head and discrete limbs. Using flint tools, the maker of the Acheulian Goddess intentionally adapted an existing small stone, which already had breast-like Mother Goddess features, by adding incised grooves delineating the head and arms. Like Willendorf, the Acheulian appears to have a groove suggestive of the sacred vulva.

This Paleolithic image offers breathtaking evidence that our worship of the divine feminine could have extended up to 250,000 years deeper into hunter-gatherer antiquity than previously suspected! In the face of this discovery, 3,500 years of current patriarchy pales to insignificance. Clearly the old, ecology-centered goddess values have been with us for a vaster sweep of time than our recent misadventures of war and exploitation. And now we choose to reclaim those older values.

Sacred Source is proud to be the only available source for this reproduction, which is based on drawings and photographs from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem's Institute of Archeology, where the original is housed. Hold her in your hand to feel her shape, fecundity and power.
[232,000 - 800,000 BCE]

The Acheulian Goddess
A nomadic hominid tribe who predated even the Neanderthal era has been recently carbon dated as camping at Berekhat Ram (in the modern-day Golan Heights region) between 232,000 and 800,000 years ago.
From scoria stone they carved the astounding figurine which, according to the Journal of the Israel Prehistoric Society, "...might be considered the earliest manifestation of a work of art."

It is remarkable to note the similarities between the Willendorf and the far older Acheulian. Both figures are distinctly female, great breasted with featureless head and discrete limbs. Using flint tools, the maker of the Acheulian intentionally adapted an existing small stone which already had breast-like Mother Goddess features "...by adding incised grooves delineating the head and arms." Like Willendorf the Acheulian appears to have a groove suggestive of the sacred vulva.

Over a thousand miles and an amazing quarter-million years separate this piece from the famous Willendorf Goddess find in Austria. Until the past few decades, the Willendorf, carved of bone circa 32,000 years ago, was held to be the earliest human crafted work of art and veneration.

This discovery is a phenomenal indicator that our worship of the divine feminine, the Blessed Mother still venerated as Mary, Kali, and Kwan Yin today, could have extended fully 200,000 plus years deeper into hunter-gatherer antiquity that previously suspected!

Sacred Source is proud to be the only available source for this reproduction, which is based on drawings and photographs from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem's Institute of Archeology, where the original is housed. We have recreated the Goddess at twice the original size to emphasize her shape, fecundity and power.

Hold her in your hand and join us in wonder!

On a different note, on Thursday I began to get sick, left a little early from work. Since yesterday I have been taking 24 hr Sudafed for cold/allergies -- if it doesn't appear to be working by the end of the day we will have to get me something else. Kinda sucks because this was our big weekend. I worked my 40 hrs in 4 days to (a) cover for special events held at work and (b) so I could have yesterday off. I had previously asked for Nov 1st (my BD) off making this a sweet 4-day weekend. We planned to go to Longhorn for our anniversary meal -- we did, yesterday, with me all sniffly and stuffed up, but we went. We did minor shopping until my strength reserves gave way. And now E is in the kitchen preparing some of the components of my Birthday Dinner. Which will probably be served tomorrow (which is fine) I will try to remember to take pix of everything or nearly everything and load so you can see.

Please feel free to send healing energies or thoughts to me as I battle whatever cold/flu someone decided to share with me. I am going to burn a candle for myself and say prayer for myself.

I need to get back on track

2010-10-20T06:28:00.000-04:00

I still have my mini alter box in the office -- currently stored in a drawer. I have been so busy that I have not felt I have had the time to pull it out and "light" my virtual candle and say my prayer, perhaps think upon the day at hand. Be solitary has some disadvantages when you are not that much of a self starter on some subjects.

Maybe today or tomorrow I will be able to start up again. Eeek gotta get to work. Blessed Be

My heart-alter at the office:
Post 1
Post 2

Bast Visited Last Night

2010-10-15T07:57:00.001-04:00

Bast -- watcher of cats sent us a little fella to aid.

So we got home last night to find a visitor we normally see in the back yard in our front yard. Cute little fixed male cat -- maybe no older than 2 years old by the size of him. I went inside to put the groceries in the house and to shoo our inside cat further inside instead of him trying to investigate the outside world slash Newcomer; when I returned back outside to see how E was faring -- he had a tag on so we were going to see if he had a phone number to call -- the cat let E hold him. There was a number on the tag, to the vet he goes to, and the tag said 2010 so we figure he is probably an inside cat who accidentally escaped like one of ours did (although JoJo found his way back home)

Anyways, while petting him and trying to get a good look at the number so we could call it, we gave him some cat food that Kossy has decided he doesn't like any more. The poor baby scarfed down 2 cans of food -- we expected him to get sick so we stayed outside with him a few more minutes to see if that would happen and so we could figure out our game plan.

We decided that we definitely cannot keep him if is Mommy/Daddy abandoned him and so we need to figure out how best to let him be taken care of. He is so starved for attention and is very friendly so he is an easy target for any bad people who enjoy hurting strays.

So the decision was made to ready the hall bathroom for him to have for the night and to ready our bedroom for Kossy to stay in all night (complete with his catpan and foodstuff) because if this Visitor has brought any feline leukemia or feline aids then Kossy could catch it by coming in contact with the same items the Visitor did.

So in the bathroom the little guy went. And during the rest of the evening Mom and Brian took turns entertaining him when he was not in the bathroom but in one of their rooms -- however they need to truly realize that their room needs to be cleaned where the Visitor was so that contact areas do not become an issue for Kossy -- they seem to be of the mindset that nothing will happen. But something could, Kossy is a senior kitty of 14 years, 6 months and 2 weeks... he has been around awhile, can't chance things.

Anyways -- the vet's office opens in 15 minutes and hopefully we can take the Visitor over there and drop him off for his Mommy/Daddy to pick him up.

So I figured this is a sort of pay it forward thing that Bast set up for all the times that I asked for assistance with Spyder when we had him as an in/out cat when he used to vanish for a day or two at a time then return (usually with some sort of kill for me ... yea? silly kitty) but Spyder is no longer with us. Yeah, when he use to venture out I would worry like crazy because he was GORGEOUS: 100% pure white with pure (unblind) blue eyes; so I would worry that someone would take him as he wouldn't wear a collar/tag -- it would always make him loose fur there or otherwise bother him to the point that the neurotic thing would hurt himself.

Anyways I digress...

Bast let us pay forward Her kindnesses by seeing the right thing was done for this little Visitor.

UPDATE:
We turned him into the vet and according the their records -- the Number on his tag matched the name "Corona" and they will be contacting his owners.

Happy Ending

A first in Samhain / Shadowfest traditions!

2010-10-03T18:23:00.001-04:00

Merry Meet All~

I had a first yesterday! I carved my very very first pumpkin! I found 3 designs online I was willing to try, and Jack Skellington won out. Brian was impressed with my skill, considering this was my first carving.

I used an exacto knife for scoring the pattern and my old pumpkin knife for the cutting. Funny background story on that: when I was a little girl I wanted to be a big girl and be allowed to cut my food myself like Daddy did. So, thinking a little outside the box my folks got me the knife from the pumpkin carving kits -- and I used to cut everything with that little safety knife including steaks! Ironically all these years later, this is the first time it ever cut the object it was designed to!! We had bought me a scrapper for pumpkins ($4) and I got a the majority of the seeds out when the blasted thing broke - argh! then I got a metal ladle and finished. Oh, start to finish I wore gloves, I knew I would not want anything under my nails or want to touch the "slimey-ness" of the seed business.

E used to do pumpkins every year for Halloween -- except she couldn't handle the texture issues, so her brother did her cutting and gutting for her; however now that for the past several years we've been using gloves to handle meats and other "gross" food items, she thinks she could see us reviving the tradition. E had never realized I had never ever done a jack-o-lantern before, or she would have bought me a pumpkin to do this before. We found this huge pumpkin at Sam's for $10 -- not bad. We attempted to roast the seeds but messed up.

I took pictures... have a look...

I also made a "Haunted House" -- like a Gingerbread House -- only this kit has the cookies be chocolate instead - so more of the family can eat once it is done! So I took my time and I think it came out great!

The front

Right side

Back

Left side

Close up of left side's window

close up of front door

On actual Samhain/Shadowfest/Halloween E & I will be celebrating 18 YEARS together !!

Exploring My Gaia

2010-08-31T20:09:00.000-04:00

I decided a couple days ago to discover my views, my feelings, my beliefs.

I have an affinity for the faceless "Venus/Goddesses" - I figure it is high time to see if I can ascertain the Whys. For your safety...please do not hold your breath, I will not be responsible for the outcome. ;-)

I started a Word document (well not Word brand, I have NeoOffice, but Word doc is like Kleenex, but I digress.) So I started this document on "Exploring My Gaia" and with any luck I can plug away at it here and there.

This is not the whole thing, just the first couple paragraphs...

EXPLORING MY GAIA

Her name is borrowed from the Greek personification of the Earth, Gaia.

I see her in the representations of some Prehistoric Goddess/Woman figures. Whether or not the Paleolithic, Mesolithic, Neolithic or Bronze Age ancestors really meant these figures as representations of a supreme female deity or if it was purely an art, being no different than modern anime figures drawn today; the point is moot. Thoughts are power. Belief is power. Words are power.

I try to remember that someone had to be the first to have a Vision of the Divine. Homo Sapiens have been around for 200,000 or so years and we have a multitude of present and extinct religions and cults and followings and believers to fill a multitude of libraries – I am sure we have not nearly discovered all the views Humans have had of the Divine over these past 200,000 years. And scientist can ONLY go on what archeology can tell us with what has been left behind. And if they had beliefs only, with no props to leave behind, then we cannot discover that; since thoughts/beliefs themselves are not physically tangible. Or conversely, if they had props, but they did not survive long enough to be discovered; or were misinterpreted. And nearly all scientific discoveries are tinted with the views of the scientists themselves.......

I have only a couple paragraphs after that, but it is a start :-)

Prompt: Goddess Image

2010-08-16T20:02:00.003-04:00

Prompt: Goddess Image

Let your creativity and art skills shine today - share with us an image of what the Goddess looks like, to you. Whether it be something you've drawn yourself, or something you've found/put together online... then tell us why, or what she means to you.

As you may remember, I see the Goddess usually in the Primordial -- faceless, voluptuous. (See my Who's that girl... post.) Keep in mind I am no artist when it comes to pen/pencil to paper. Oh and I am including her mate in some of these. I usually think of Him as Greenman or Horned God. Which puts more of a face on him. Hmmm.... weird....

This is the only available copy I have of this original drawing by me; it is a scan/print out using the Kodak Picture Maker from years ago. Then I used PhotoBooth to capture it for you -- at least you get the idea :-) ©2001

This is the Lady with Her Lord -- or Moon and Sun ©2002 Although in this I have no lashes.. maybe they are both male, both female, maybe the Moon is male & Sun female, maybe it is for the viewer to decide :-)

I have some clay stuff and shrinky dinks that you can see in other posts:
Witchy Crafts I Made
I made this!

These are some Pagany graphix I have made years ago. I have my usage restrictions on the album that you can see on my Care2.com account Album plus there are many more, mostly dealing with that online community. I'd like to create more when time allows, but that is a back burner project. (click here for the album)

Her hand holding Earth and His eyes peering from a galaxy.

Amazing!

2010-08-15T11:20:00.002-04:00

I wish I had known the outcome of this sooner and taken before and after pictures to show you.
This last Tuesday (8/10) at about 4:30pm I was waiting for E outside work to pick me up (she was a little delayed because she and Mom were picking up the pizza!) and as I was getting into the car I felt a sharp pinch on the side of my belly. I kinda hit/grab for it to pull off the offending ouchie and what do I see? a HUGE ant (for a split second) as my next instinct was to essentially pinch it back -- killing it. Only thing I do know is that it was not a fire ant. I put some alcohol on it when I got home.

It only started to itch and become bothersome once the 24 hour mark was it -- literally, about 4:30pm the next day (Wed). So I think it wasn't until Thursday evening we went to Walgreens to see if we could find AfterBite we could not find any at our local store, and the pharmacy chick (who was probably younger than us) didn't sound like she heard of it before and led us to where we already were and suggested one of the ones with the hydrocortisone; so I chose the one with Cortizone 10 with Cooling Relief. BAH! I was just as itchy with it as without it! And the "cooling" was pretty much non-existent. Oh and you have a limit to how much you can put on ("not more than 3 to 4 times daily")

By the way in the meantime, my bite area -- I guess technically the sting area -- is puffy and angry looking, it has not spread to more than the initial irritated area (a dime fits inside the affected area) and there is a little bruise above it where the bastard was probably holding on to ~~bite~~ sting me. I am (in a way) sorry to have killed it, but since I don't get bit by much you never know if I will ever be hyper allergic and besides insects and bugs are generally icky and we have an exterminator come to the house -- so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad. I reckon the death was quick though.

Active Ingredients: Ammonia (3.5%) (Counterirritant)
Inactive Ingredients: Alcohol Ethoxylate, Dimethicone,
Natural Oil, Water Purified

We decided when I got off work Friday, which luckily was an early day for me (about 1pm) we went to WalMart to see if they still carried it HALLELUJAH HALLEUJAH HALLLLEEELLLUUJAH!

Even after the first application (which was put on in the car) the swelling went down and the itching stopped!

I love the AfterBite stuff -- I even like the sting of it -- which means I was bad and scratching :-( But at least I know it is working for sure then!!

In fact as you recall we intended on getting it in the first place, because it has never failed me before. When I get a bugbite I go for AfterBite. Besides, it is "apply as needed". There. There's my plug for them :-)

In short, I do not itch really anymore and we apply when we think of it to give it more healing and the skin has been puffiness free since Friday Night and it is not angry looking anymore!!

Car Blessing

2010-08-06T17:07:00.000-04:00

1st let it be said that our place where we get the Jeep fixed was once run by a guy who cheated the company and customers out of money. So since the new manager has taken over he has had to deal with us (customers) who do not realize we have so much work to be done on our vehicles until THEY tell us because under previous management they never actually told us what the recommendations were (they put it in the system, but never told us more work was upcoming)

So we are now coming to find out that we (ourselves this time) needed struts, rear shocks, whole tune-up and a couple other things (E could tell you but she's napping right now so I can't ask) equaling to $1200 -- this info was found out about 2 wks ago -- we were able to move things around so that the struts could be done (about $550-600) within a couple days of finding out, but the rest would need to wait until today when we got paid.

Now E was originally planning to move the budget around to get the other $600± put aside; but that would leave us seriously fucked for the next couple of months to the point where we would not be able to put in the $50-150 each paycheck we usually do to cover the cost for the groceries in addition to what Brian already gives us (mind you "groceries" also includes toiletries and cleaning supplies).

But E applied to the car-fix-it-place's credit card online; not expecting to receive one because she was denied last time. SHE GOT IT -- $1600!!! Now Mom, E and me all have one of their cards in each of our names so that we can afford to get the car fixed as needed.

That damn jackass that stole from the company/customer totally is at fault here, because we would never had let things get this bad had we received the recommendations as they were being put in their system. This is our only ride for 4 people; we take care of Dwayde. Dwayde spent about 3-3.5 hrs getting the above mentioned fixed; E and I went for breakfast & shopping for work clothes for me in the 2 nearby strip-malls.


Not Dwayde but similar to him / too hot & no batteries to take pic of him :-)

But that's not all, couple days ago bolts from the back door busted off and so the car dude has to order a special disposable part to extract the bolts and put in new ones so that the door will open and close and the right passenger window was shaking - we thought the regulator was about to go again but it's the regulator's lubrication part needs to be replaced, I think he called it a pin or a bar -- so we will be getting THAT fixed next Weds

So my CAR BLESSING is that it IS getting fixed and we will not be screwed because E got a card that will help us out. Although it does make for the 16th credit card we are responsible for.

The irony is: the jeep's last car payment will be in September. -- Nearly paid for and so much work done on him, but the pride of ownership will be ours.

If anyone knows of any good Jeep-friendly deities and/or blessings, please share. I did a quick Google search and found a blessing repeated on several sites that involved a long journey -- I am looking for a more generic thing to maybe help encourage Dwayde to keep healthy for longer stretches at a time.

Birthday Dinner

2010-08-01T08:44:00.000-04:00

Okay my birthday isn't until November, but E has asked me to find something for makings as funds will be tight (which really isn't an issue for me; my issue is the DECISION!) lol So many choices!

I have been thinking on this since April or May

So I thought to try something new.... in search of recipes... this is what I found...

I gave E all of this in an email two days ago so she could follow recipe links and she could decide how much of the recipe to follow and how much to use as a springboard/guideline...

This is the email I sent; I am not sure how much of it she will use for the dinner since I gave some options...

Turkey (based on this recipe: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Sherrys-German-Turkey/Detail.aspx)
• From that recipe I basically figure you fix it normal except - in the cavity, cut if necessary: 1 med onion, 1 stalk celery, 1 apple with stem removed and holes poked in it, 1 large peeled carrot, 1 orange with holes poked in it
• On top of the turkey - do usual butter under skin & use 1 lb bacon lay strips all over entire top
according to original recipe reviewer - The bacon bastes the Turkey for you.

Below is your call for one or more in addition or substitution of normal fare...

MAYBE create homemade cranberry sauce
Recipe: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Cranberry-Sauce-I/Detail.aspx
Use Reviewer tips: I just made this minutes ago and it is wonderful! I did do some changes as suggested by previous reviews. I did 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup white sugar and 1/2 cup orange juice, 1/2 cup water. I also let it simmer longer than 10 minutes..about 20 and mashed the cranberries. It is the perfect constancy. ••• use "frying screen" over the pot.

a little unorthodox, maybe these cheese sticks
recipe: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Homemade-Mozzarella-Sticks/Detail.aspx
note from author: I submitted this recipe. Just a note: the way this was edited is not quite right. In step 2, I do not moisten any edges before I start rolling the string cheese up. Where is says to roll to the end and press to seal, I take a fork dipped in water and dab the inside of the open corner with it, then finish rolling and press to seal. Also, in step 4, I repeat dipping the mozzarella sticks into the egg wash and into the bread crumbs. And of course, serve with marinara sauce ;). Enjoy!

Acorn Squash
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Acorn-Squash/Detail.aspx
This is the only way I've ever had squash but you can do it a quicker way. Cut it in half and seed it. Microwave on high for 5 minutes. Put about a tablespoon of butter in each have and spread it around on the top edges and inside. Litely sprinkle nutmeg all over and then about twice as much cinnamon. Follow it up with brown sugar (1-2T each half depending on how sweet you like it) and bake at 350 for about 20 minutes. Feel free to turn the oven off and keep the squash in there until the rest of your meal is done. You just can't miss with squash this way!

Apple-Stuffed Acorn Squash
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Apple-Stuffed-Acorn-Squash/Detail.aspx
I thought this recipe was actually very good. It was easy and quick to prepare, and a great way to use the fall foods. I did modify only a little, by changing the oven temp. to 450 for the last half of the cook time. I didn't melt the butter (the oven will do that!) but cut into small chunks and set on the apples, and then drizzled the honey on. I didn't use as much honey, but I'm sure that would be wonderful - I'm just trying to cut down on sugars. I also added nutmeg to the cinnamon. The end result was good - tender and tasty, without being too sweet or buttery. My husband really liked it, as well, and he is never a big fan of veggies. ••• Although next time I think I will pierce the flesh to let the sweet juices get all throughout the squash as well as let it get more tender.

The Cake...
Eggnog Pound Cake
recipe: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Eggnog-Pound-Cake-2/Detail.aspx
tip, I like flavor idea used, sans alcohol: Delicious--I used a Duncan Hines butter yellow cake mix, real butter, and a teaspoon of nutmeg, because I love nutmeg. Instead of making the custard, I drizzled an icing made of powdered sugar, butter, eggnog, and a tablespoon of butterscotch schnappes--YUMM!

Grasshopper Dessert
http://www.duncanhines.com/recipes/specialty-desserts/dh/grasshopper-dessert
printer friendly: http://www.duncanhines.com/recipes/specialty-desserts/dh/grasshopper-dessert/print

What do you think of my request?
I know most people would prefer to wait until thanksgiving - but we have never been one for being overly traditional :-) One year we had bologna sandwiches because we wanted to, not because of funds.

Today is Lammas. Snuck up on me... silly holiday... well it is a thanksgiving and this post has a thanksgiving feel for it... it is a stretch...

Things I am thankful for for Lammas

E
our furbaby cat
roof over our heads
clothes on our backs
my job
rainbows
chocolate
spinach
laughter
bubbles

From Rambles to Green Witch Ways - A Journey of Substance

2010-07-29T19:58:00.001-04:00

inannasstar over at Ramblings of a Domestic Goddess has bestowed upon me an award for a blog with substance. Check out her "awardees" at this link.

I am shocked to get an award for substance.

Sub•stance (noun) the quality of being important, valid, or significant.

This is really something! I have struggled in this Path and I guess in that it is important and certainly valid and inannasstar thinks my shares are significant. This definitely inspires me to continue the trek :-)

The rules for the award are (I have kept inannasstar's “cheats” of changing the number rules:

1. Thank the blogger that gave you the award - Thank you inannasstar for validating ~~my parking~~ my winding pagan path as seen in my hemisphere of the pagan blogosphere.

2. Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, experience, using 10 words. - I don't like the number 10 so I'm changing this to 5. Although if side comments count, I have 24 :-)
• honest
• refreshing (from time to time)
• imaginative/creative
• half-baked (or does that go with imaginative/creative?)
• insert the secret word I chose here ;-)

3. Pass the award on to 10 other blogs you feel have substance. Again, number 10 sucks it so here's 5 fabulous bloggers with substance. In no particular order and without further ado:

1 Tinkerbell at ~*~Tinkerbell~*~
2 Anne at The Gods Are Bored
3 Delphyne at 7 year old witch
4 Moon Daughter at Path of the Moon Daughter
5 Rowan Silverstar at Candles & Wicks

Hmmm Greekwitch already got it (wasn't fast enough!) at Dreaming of Rosemary

Well, this was fun!!
Thanks again inannasstar

Prompt: Extreme Temperatures

2010-07-25T00:50:00.000-04:00

Prompt: Extreme Temperatures
http://paganprompts.blogspot.com/2010/07/prompt-extreme-temperatures.html

For a lot of Pagans, worship and rituals take place outside when at all possible. What about when the weather is just too hot or too cold to do anything outside? How do you connect with nature when you can't be out in it?

For me living in FL is usually hot. And being prone to heat rash and sunburns and heat induced headaches and the inability to tolerate myself sweating profusely, I tend to stay indoors in the A/C whenever possible. Also in my current neighborhood I do not feel comfortable doing anything outside -- a couple years ago when we used to live in a different place I would occasionally venture outside to physically commune -- but this house and neighborhood does not have the same peaceful vibe. And I do not have what it takes to regularly purge it of negativity -- 2 of the 4 people living in the house regularly court Negativity and so I would be constantly renewing it; and that seems to draining a prospect for me.

I digress.

Since we are in FL --I enjoy visiting the nautical/shell store we have around here where I can purchase all sorts of sea-stuff from sand dollars to sea glass to sea-seeds to various shells. I figure that connects me to the land and surf of a state I am not overly fond of -- so that I might learn to respect it. I may not like the state's climate but I should not take it out on the land - it has done nothing.

I do still step outside or at least open the front door from time to time. Depending on how muggy it is depends if it is less than a minute outside or up to 10-15. Sometimes I dip my toes in the dirt, sand or grass of the yard; other times I do not leave the cement walkway or driveway. Sometimes I get out some bubbles and play with the Wind or Breeze for a little while!

When I am out on the front porch area, I sometimes play in what we call the garden -- which lately resembles a small patch of Flora Gone Wild that is in severe need of discipline -- but I sorta like the wild look -- but I know my mother will just come out and butcher it soon -- so I should go out there and weed around in it -- if it isn't too muggy and hot -- but even if it is and she does buzzcut most of the flora -- it will grow back again as usual.

My holey stone that Nature made and one of my fresh fallen feathers

In short I use little bursts of in-front lawn / porch nature to connect. And when living the A/C life I buy nature items or collect gifts that Momma Nature gave me (like my feathers freshly fallen from some birds, or a holey stone from one of the few times I visited the beach) and bring 'em in the house to connect to Nature.

Hey you! Feminist!!

2010-07-10T09:15:00.005-04:00

Quite often it seems a stereotype that seems to come with female pagans is Feminism. So I was wondering, am I one?

See, I think if a woman is QUALIFIED for the job, she has the right at a shot at it. This means that the job DOES NOT bring down the standards to let women in. Sound logical to me. But as I have grown up I have learned that a high risk job such as being a firefighter, in the beginning had higher levels of requirements needed to join and stay in. But apparently the movement that was suppose to give equal rights and opportunities decided that because they wanted to help fight fires, that they NEEDED to get in. Fine -- try out if you are physically capable, help me in my time of fire. But no... instead the firefighters were forced to bring down the bar some so more "strong" women could pass. BULLSHIT - at that point you have crossed the line. You went from wanting to do something you were able to do, to making someone lower standards to your level of qualification, thereby cheapening the thing. Firefighting is just an example used - the idea can be applied any where.

I can almost hear you, "But I know some great lady fightfighters!" Congratulations. But could she pass the original requirements, the same ones as the boys? If so then SHE is the woman I want for the job. SHE is the one who got fair treatment. SHE is awesome! However, if when she tried out, was there a male standard and a female standard to meet? And if so did she pass only the female standard or did she meet or surpass the male? If there is to be equal opportunity -- that cannot potentially jeopardize safety -- therefore having high standards for any high-risk job like that must have high requirement standards for any citizen regardless of sex and it must be one standard. If you cannot cut it, buck up be a woman (or man) and move the f**k on with your life; there are many other help-others jobs out there that you can do. Alternative is to let the boys have their clubs and women have theirs, can't meet the standard already in place, create an establishment for women, even let men into it if you want to claim you have the better equality.

You see something you want, and if you are qualified, then do it. Case in point - woodshop classes in high school, used to be only, only, only for the male students - if a girl wants to join now she can, no special requirements really; if she can physically move the tools/wood, cut the wood, she can do the job; nothing was lowered to let her play too. That is equality.

I think that nature truly made men (on average, not every single one) stronger, on a genetic level. It is not being unfair, not everything created equal was created the same. Same and equal are not always interchangeable. Therefore I do not thing on average a man should hit or pick a physical fight with an average woman (Boys/Men don't hit Girls/Women)

Check it out:

Wiki Answers
(source) Men are over 30% stronger than women, especially in the upper body. Although many feminists cannot face this fact, females simply do not have the strength or endurance necessary to be, for example, effective combat soldiers. ((my note: some are in combat, but that doesn't mean it isn't tougher on them, it would be interesting to see the passing percentile or ratio to men vs women; but more importantly is how this author defines effective. I am glad some women are in combat, I do not know how many men vs women there are in the toughest of the toughest specialized forces, but whatever the top-notch one is would be the ultimate test. I know nothing of military standards, if they are X for men and women and if you pass you are in, then that is equality and to hell with everything else; however if X used to be Y and Y was a tougher set of things before women were granted the ability to fight without enlisting in drag, then it is like my firefighter example and needs to be placed back to Y, X is unfair and not equal and misleading. However, if Y changed to X because the world of war changed it, that is a different story altogether and is okay. ))
(source) Differences in intake and delivery of oxygen translates into some aspects of performance: when a man is jogging at about 50% of his capacity, a woman will need to work at over 70% of her capacity to keep up with him.

One agree/disagree quiz says: Getting women into traditional positions of power (elected representatives, CEOs, etc.) is an important part of women's liberation --- I say IF they are QUALIFIED, you do not play the female card and you don't play the race card. If your name is replaced with a string of numbers on your resume and you get picked from a lot of qualified resumes, you get the interview/job. Playing those cards are not equality. Being able to be "faceless" for a blind pick of just your qualifications, lets you know if you are picked for your skills or gender/color.

Anyways, I decided to take some fun online Are you a Feminist quizes...... keep in mind my answers don't always neatly fit, so the answer I choose is not always to my liking, but anyways...

Quiz #1: You Are 75% Feminist You are certainly a feminist - whether you know it or not.
You believe in gender equality, at least most of the time. You also believe there are a few exceptions.

Quiz #2 (What Type of Feminist Are You?): My results follow in order of closest matches (results provided urls with results):
1.) Libertarian / Individualist feminism: see http://www.ifeminists.com
2.) Liberal feminism-- See http://www.orst.edu/Dept/pol_sci/liberal.htm
3.) Anarcha-feminism: Anarcha-feminism recognizes the patriarchal domination of women as a key part of a society thoroughly founded on hierarchy and coercion, and seeks to organize women with other oppressed groups - in particular, workers and people of color - as part of a systematic fight against all forms of hierarchy, domination, and government.
4.) Antifeminism - actively opposing feminism; views male supremacy as natural and/or necessary.
5.) Amazon feminism-- Dedicated to the image of the female hero in Greek mythology and in fact, as it is expressed in art and literature, in the physiques and feats of female athletes, and in sexual values and practices. See http://www.ifi.uio.no/~thomas/lists/amazon-connection.html
6.) Radical feminism: Radical feminist analysis identifies patriarchal sexual politics as a fundamental organizing principle pervasive in all aspects of modern and historical societies. Radical feminist activism works to organize a mass movement uniting women to abolish sex-class on political, economic, and cultural levels.
7.) Socialist Feminism-- See http://www.dsausa.org/youth/resources/socialist_feminism.html
8.) Womanism-- ''Black feminism is sometimes referred to as womanism because both are concerned with struggles against sexism and racism by black women who are themselves part of the black community's efforts to achieve equity and liberty'' -Barbara Omolade
9.) Eco-feminism-- Theory that rests on the basic principal that patriarchial philosophies are harmful to women, children, and other living things.

Quiz #3 (another what type):
Your result for The Feminism Test...

Liberal

You scored 50% Gender-Abolitionist, 100% Sexually Liberal, and 20 % Socialist

You are the Liberal Feminist. This means that you tend to think the women's movement would best succeed through legislative changes to the system as opposed to radically restructuring our governments or ideas on gender. You tend to be mainly concerned with sexual liberation, and think that much of the oppression of women is leveled against them as a result of oppressive sexual morality. Men who sleep around are pimps and women are whores. You would claim that the negativity associated with a female's sexual freedom is only a blatant attempt to repress femininity into a submissive role. Also, you probably believe women should have access to reproductive controls such as abortion and contraception. You most likely embody the ideals of the typical American Democrat: you are pro-choice, sexually liberated, and politically active (though your political views aren't very extreme).
The other feminist types:

The Housewife

The Marxist

The Liberal

The Liberal Extremist

The Gender Abolitionist

The Radical

The Gender-Liberal

The Revisionist

Take The Feminism Test at OkCupid

I think if you can live with your sexual choices - do it. I see no problem in porn if you chose it. If you are willing to do it, then it is okay. I see no problem with the oldest profession in the world, whether it is choice by choice or choice by apparent need, you have other options in the world if you do not want to do it; granted they are harder, but achievable, if they were not we would not be able to ever hear of any success stories of Pavement Princesses and Pavement Princes beating the streets. And where there are prostitutes, chances are there are pimps, managers are always needed. I do not think pimps have the right to beat up their girls (boys) or get them into drugs; but as it is an illegal profession in the US there is no current way to legislate the proper rights of these workers. I think the ideal might be for cathouses with madames and of course have it legalized and health-care provided for, etc etc. I think the human body is nothing to be ashamed of and sexuality being experienced through any number/combo of consensual men and women of legal-age-of-consent is okay. I think if you have an STD and you choose to sleep around to spread it to others, it is wrong, at that point you are doing something against another's will -- and any couple/group activity that is not mutual, is wrong.

In short I guess I am a feminist of some sort :-)

How does this play into my Paganism?
Well, I try to make things fair and balanced but within reason. I would seek help from a Lady rather than Lord on matters of Menses because "she's been there". Matters of aiding my understanding of the seeming "very male" boss I have, I'd rather go to a Lord than a Lady because he's a dude. Mundane matters, either / or / both. But that is not to say the Lord could not sympathize with the pain of menses; nor the Lady understand the male at work because, hello! her Lord!! This is very simplified - but basically I am trying to get at men are men and women are women; gods are gods and goddesses are goddesses - there are certain things privy to one more so than the other. For grape juice I would not consult a carrot farmer, I'd consult the farmer who grows the grapes. Not demand that the carrot guy know about grapes and their juices because carrots also can be juiced.
It affects my Paganism in that I try not to solely deny the God because I left Xianity. For some women and some men focusing on a purely matriarchal spirituality fulfills them. That is wonderful, insomuch as they do not cram it down others' throats; but that goes for any spirituality.

What Kind of Pagan Am I?

2010-06-30T18:19:00.000-04:00

Click Here to take the quiz yourself

------ not sure how Zoroastrian is pagan, I didn't do heavy research -- and I, like with a lot of quizzes, don't neatly fit into their things, so I either disagree or lay it in the middle. Interesting nonetheless Although if I really am 80% Eclectic, there should be nothing below above 20%, still... ------

You Scored as Eclectic Pagan

A veritable blend of all the pantheons and perhaps a dash of a few other religions as well, you're the versatile Eclectic Pagan. You have no problem wearing an ankh while setting an offering to Herne on your alter just below your image of Hera. You don't believe in coloring within the lines, and are a bright free-thinker. While you respect the views of your fellow pagans, as far as you're concerned, religion is the sky, and there's no one about to clip your wings with lines and limitations.

Eclectic Pagan --- 80%

Zoroastrian Pagan --- 40%

Kabbalistic Pagan --- 30%

Celtic Pantheonic Pagan --- 30%

Egyptian Pantheonic Pagan --- 30%

Roman Pantheonic Pagan --- 25%

Shamanic Pagan --- 20%

Sumerian, Babylonian, and Mesopotamian Pagans --- 20%

Eastern Pagan --- 15%

Catholic (Pagan?) --- 10%

Greek Pantheonic Pagan --- 10%

Norse Pantheonic Pagan (Asatru) --- 0%

Pagan Blog Prompt: Barefeet

2010-06-25T21:34:00.000-04:00

Prompt: Barefeet

To some, bare feet is the most disgusting thing in the world. Most pagans, however, feel that going barefoot into nature is one of the most liberating things in this world.

Where do you fit on the barefoot spectrum? Is it a way to spiritually connect with the earth around you? Or is it simply functionality?

http://www.sxc.hu/photo/745989

Beneficial for soul & inner child
Abandoning socks and shoes from
Raucous office life
Enjoying the caress of the divine
Feeling Gaia through grass, sand, pebbles & dirt
Observing interactions as watching foot placement
Old Greenman seen peeking 'round corners
Totally lovin' the fact that....

I really don't like wearing shoes. :-)

I like walking in soft grasses.

Wiggling my toes in cool sand.

Splashing in puddles (not mud) is still fun!

I feel a connection to Gaia when I touch Her like that.

It is always a refreshing change from the usual confines of sneakers or dress shoes.

I also when I can get away with running around the office in my trouser socks! Not quite bare, but for short bursts, something I can do once in a while :-D

Who's that girl....it's Gaia!

2010-06-18T16:39:00.001-04:00

love preggy )O( w/Earth

Who is Gaia to me?

Gaia is the Earth herself.

Footnote: Gaia's menopausal hot flashes are the tropics/subtropics!! :-) (Like Florida, especially now that we in FL have entered Summer)

I see Gaia in the Venus of Willendorf >>>>>>>>>

I see Gaia in the other representatives of faceless goddesses...

Mini Goddess (From previous post)

Spiral Goddess Earth Bowl

Even Corn Dollies
are good Gaia reps for me

<<< I think these can also be called Nile Goddesses.

Acheulian Goddess is another Gaia inspiration for me

in short it seems Neolithic Goddesses are my thang ;-)

Lespugue Goddess

"Don't know who your mama is? That's okay, Gaia's the default, and you can always accurately claim her. " I have always liked that. source.

I try to do my best to do good by Gaia. I recycle when I can. I take advantage of our efforts at work. When I feel bad that I do not do a lot, I remind myself that I am doing more than nothing. :-)

When it is stormy or plain rainy (& not hot while doing so) I enjoy being outside with it or just before it. I feel peaceful then. Again sans hot, I enjoy being outside in the morning on the front porch; usually taking Mother's picture a few times.

Gaia is earth. Gaia is home. Gaia deserves respect. We humans won't give up the result of the Industrial Revolution until the fall of its own "Rome". So we affect the natural cycles of Gaia's ice ages, el ninos, and carbon levels, et cetera - so respect seems to be from a select few of the world's pop (in comparison to the rest of the world) With any hope, a smart eco-scientist slash economist will find a better solution that is complete (including an economical transition) and renewable. Or we wait for the fall of "Rome" and start anew.

Globe in the sky

Atmosphere sigh

Invoke the dazzle

Awaken the seasonal

Is anyone reading this?!

2010-06-18T07:54:00.001-04:00

Greetings All-
Please help, I'm just trying to figure it out. Not trying to be nasty.
Maybe I should keep quiet about this, as I do have the B.W.O. banner....
I figure the day that I blabbed about essentially denouncing my faith (in March/April); which has since allowed me a clean slate with little baggage, to see where I end up spiritually; is when I lost my readers. Or more precisely my few comments to let me know how I was doing, what they thought, etc. I need to hear occasional words, because I will admit I am weak like that, I am parched & have found an empty well. My blog has never been truly busy with comments and posts and posts and comments... but it was a nice enough pace for me, I felt encouraged, and with that wanted to write & share.

Let's see if I can work this out...what I wrote & links to the posts
* I did a meme (Jun 14)
* tooth issues / headed down the road to dentures - related posts (Jun 6) (May 5) (Apr 22)
* wrote about beauty in bird & unknown buggie found (May 29) update: pest control came out & got 'em
* wrote of my vacation (May 14)
* a bit of poemy-like writing on the Goddess (May 4)

As of this post's publishing, the above have no comments... So I only naturally assume I suck at this after 41 days and need to transfer the posts I like to a personal journal & delete the blog. ...Wait I forgot the selections made in the Reactions spot. Lets see... I have...one reaction on... (May 5) :-) My last comment received was on: Rag Curls (Apr 17)

QUESTIONS
1. Should I delete the blog?
2. If I should keep the blog, do you know of sites like the Pagan Blog Prompts or Stealing Sundays Meme list that can give more inspiration? Please give links in comments.
3. Should I delete GWW & start a new one un-witchy related in title an initial description?

The Dark Side Meme (Sunday Stealing)

2010-06-14T19:18:00.007-04:00

Meme Source: Sunday Stealing

CLICK IMAGES FOR ENLARGEMENTS

1. You're building your dream house. What's the one thing that this house absolutely, positively MUST HAVE? (other than the obvious basics of course) Working Large Clawfoot Tub!

2. What is your dream car? I dunno type, but I'd love the chameleon paint job!

3. What is your favorite website that isn't a blog? well, I really like Pandora...

4. iPhone 4 or Droid, which do you want? given the choice and funds, I would choose iPhone I think

5. When you're feeling down or lonely or just generally out of sorts, what do you do to cheer yourself up? I like watching old favorite movies from my childhood or listen/watch to comedians, sometimes just listening to music

6. Tell me about something or someone that you love that most people seem to hate. Well, I like a few Pauly Shore movies ;-)

7. What do you want to be when you grow up? I am using this question as what "did" I want to be... Paleontologist. Then at about 10 or 11 I thought that everything had been discovered, so turned my sights to other possibilities.

8. Would you go on a reality show if given the chance? Hell no!

9. Who was your favorite teacher when you were growing up. (Grade school, Middle School, Jr. High or High School only.) Damn, I dunno... we moved around so much so much of my school years are a blur. I remember a few bits and pieces of memories but no one sticks out as a particular favorite.

10. You get one pass to do something illegal or immoral. What are you gonna do? Might consider "stealing" an item from a store; but if it is a "pass" then whatever I do is no longer illegal or immoral so nothing would be wrong, so it would be a free item for walking in. But I'd want it as a giftcard, to be sure it is more kosher :-) Currently I am in the market for a new TV, so I guess that.

11. What were you doing 10 years ago? Well we knew that Y2K wasn't anything to worry about, much like 2012 isn't going to mean anything either, so nothing nutty like that. I had started my first "real" job that lasted 22months. And lived in a motel.

12. By this time next year, I ... hope to either have won the lottery bigtime, ha ha who doesn't wish that... but sans lottery then I hope to continue my current job without danger of loosing it :-)

13. Do you think the United States will elect a female President in your lifetime? Do you think this would be a good thing? As long as she does not take away rights or prevent rights in her reign, then it would be as good as any other; in my lifetime, sure why not... Pray it is not Palin though.

14. Which fictional, TV show character you would shag anytime? Fictional TV character .. hmm... Jayne Cobb from Firefly is nice, dumb, nice guns, and tough and funny...

15. What is your greatest pet peeve? The greatest one, huh, the one that was recently (and regularly) aggravated is the trash being over-due for emptying AND not having replacement liner put in, if it was emptied.

16. Tell me about your most recent trip of more than 100 miles? Round trip to Zoo and Aquarium

17. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? Using the .com version, toss up, but maybe Thesaurus a smidgen more.

18. Do you have a nickname? What is it? At work I am affectionately known as "Trouble" with the receptionists, officially Trouble #2 , head receptionist is Trouble (officially Trouble #1) and we even have a #3 :-)

19. What are you dreading at the moment? I don't think I am "dreading" anything...

20. Do you worry that others will judge you from reading some of your answers? We all judge on a subconscious level, but I don't think my answers are "all that" that I need to worry.

21. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship. Dumbass (unless that is 2 words, and if not...) Dullsville

22. What were you doing this morning at 8am? emailing a file to a coworker.

23. Do you have any famous relatives? Not that I am aware of, but if you know of any of my famous relatives and they are generous, then we need to get in touch ;-)

24. How many different beverages have you drank today? Anything I drink is non-alcoholic... water, tea, OJ, almondmilk... so 4

25. What is something you are excited about? in 2016 will be our 20th anniversary! Other than that, we just got done with this year's "vacation" so I guess we can start thinking about next year's...

26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group? In Speech class (and may that evermore be the last time!!) :-D

27. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Aww I don't want the weekend to be over! Then I took a deep breath and brushed my hair.

28. What were you doing at midnight last night? Zzzzzzzz

29. What's a word that you say a lot? Hmmm not sure as I have a catch-word anymore.

30. Who is your worst enemy? as with most people, myself, but I try to keep that bitch in check ;-)

More pain might equal some loss too

2010-06-06T08:36:00.001-04:00

Since about the first of the month, my other teeth have been bothering me. The left side molars both top and bottom. E says we can go whenever I want. Ha! Although we have things set up with Dr Brown -- I do NOT want. When I am in the dead of sleep there is no pain; upon regaining consciousness I have pain.

Woke up an hour ago and the pain set in - dull constant pain that sometimes feels like cold, like I just ate something cold. I started crying. Woke up and got to cry, great way to start the day.

I know I will have to go but I haven't mastered eating with my front teeth yet. I just got done with an extraction last month. I was hoping to last a few more months before having more pulled.

I don't want to think about more extractions yet, I rather wait a while.

I think I will do extensive research on soft foods and maybe get a handle on liquid diet -- all that might make me loose weight?? Probably not....

Gotta go talk to you later.

Beauty in a bird - the divine within it

2010-05-29T11:20:00.002-04:00

Greetings-
This morning I was ripping apart some stale bread to give to the birds... I am sure it isn't the best for them, but plain bread is better than fastfood bread that they often get. And I didn't want to totally waste; so I gave to the birds (and most likely the local ant populations) Anyways as it started to sprinkle, I figured the majority of the bread would disintegrate into grassfood. But one of our local black birds found a crust and took it up to the wires (electrical lines) to eat above our driveway. It was so cute to see him nibble away at the crust. He only left what was covered by his one foot when he flew away when the rain got a little heavier (which lasted all of 2 minutes). I was just so content to watch him nibble, Nature is awesome.

one of the bugs

Then E came out, startled me when she opened the door ;-) but then after she kissed me on my head (I was sitting on our upturned cinderblock) she noticed little bugs on the wall of the patio. Ewww! She called the bug-guys and they said they'd send someone out; might not be till tomorrow & since they were all over, the lady on the phone said we could spray the bugs but keep a sample for whomever comes out. So I caught 3 dead samples; I had taken the pix while E was on the phone.

UPDATE:
I just went back out and the bread is mostly gone; the sky is doing the usual FL rain summer thing so it is on/off sprinkle/light to medium showers. But I had startled 2 birds when I went out; so I ran back in grabbed what was left of the loaf and did a couple more slices including attaching 2 slices to branches in a tree :-D I just like having the birds seeming to happy & around the house. We don't do this often; but some weeks we just don't go thru the bread as fast as other weeks and so, we share.

Vacation Week: Cheers & Jeers

2010-05-14T07:38:00.001-04:00

Baird Tapir

MONDAY 05-10-10: Cheer

Brevard Zoo (Melbourne, FL)
Breezy Sunny Day
Animals were mostly out and camera-ready
Got 300 pix
Animals were well placed for viewing
This will be added to our Zoo-goings

TUESDAY 05-11-10: Cheer

Nice Lazy Day, had no plans

WEDNESDAY 05-12-10: Cheer turned Jeer

Originally had plans but the last 2 wks of Dentistry removed the original plans and we then had my Follow-up dental appointment and our bimonthly psychotherapist appointment.
We went to Big Lots and some other store
On the way home we had smoke coming from the hood of the jeep -- this point marks the Jeer
It started on the bridge so it was a few minutes before we had the opportunity to pull over.
After talking to TiresPlus we waited for the Tow -- about 45minutes
Then it was Murphy's Law at work -- as you know we only have the Jeep as transport and no one to ask for a ride At this time -- radiator replacement
3 hours in the TiresPlus Lobby bore us no results -- they needed parts, they got wrong parts yadda yadda -- the manager ended up volunteering his car to take me, E and Mom home and then he said he'd get us Thursday when it was done.

THURSDAY 05-13-10 Jeer

The Jeep is fixed by 3:15pm and the Manager came to pick me and E up -- which the radiator is fixed and when they went to start the car billows of smoke occurred -- Fan busted (manager had called us earlier and told us the new price) So then we did minor shopping (Cheer-ish) A/C works great now!!

FRIDAY 05-14-10 Cheer -- so far

We will be going to Palm Beach Zoo at Dreher Park today -- we consider this our "home zoo"

Wish us luck!!

IV Sedation

2010-05-05T06:53:00.000-04:00

Well my appointment to get my 1st molar removed on the right side is this morning. I will be left with a lonely 2nd molar on that side as my last tooth there.

Last week we did our part -- the oral surgeon who had IV Sedated me in Oct '08 for my last teeth (yes plural) pulling -- had asked us during the evaluation on 4/21/10 to please find a regular dentist to try to save what I have, that I am too young to loose my teeth now, yadda yadda yadda. So on 4/28/10 we had an appointment with the closest place that seemed to be able to help. About an hour away! After talking to the Dr's assistant for about an hour -- he came in and was honest -- he was expensive and considered high-end cosmetic. After much figurative teeth pulling of him we got out of him that just one tooth with the most minimal things done would run about $3-4,000 -- for ONE tooth.

No thank you. I rather loose 'em like Mom did - from back to front and maybe work on partials at 1st -- as long as they put me in a nice unconscious state -- like my friend IV Sedation.

Unfortunately my past experience with the oral sedation and being told I would be loopy and not really remember the experience is FALSE -- due to my low pain tolerance to high medication tolerance ratio and the fact that often pressure is perceived as pain -- I was not believed that I was uncomfortable -- apparently tears streaming down one's face is not an indicator.

BUT THAT IS NOT ALL!!!

Today is also first day of Menses (1 week late, all my stress from last week) -- bright side is I will be getting the Good Stuff from the dentist. AND it should be over by next week so it should not interfere with the Vay-Kay!!!

:-)

Goddess Speaks

2010-05-04T19:24:00.001-04:00

Does She still Speak
And do I still listen
Is She still there
And did She ever leave
Yes
Not Always
Yes
Not Likely

Is She a being outside of myself
Is She a being outside of Nature & the Universe
Is She a being within my own
Is She a being within Nature & the Universe
Maybe
Seems contradictary - maybe not literally
It would be nice to know the Spark
Definitely, where else does the Awe come from

Is She hating me for questioning
Will She be there waiting if I return full force
Will She be there if I never return
Will She be there as I think I need Her to be
No, that goes against Loving
Certainly
Most likely & like the Tree you never heard fall
Probably not, and then Probably so - this is the hardest part of all

Is my life so bad
Is my life so spiritually alone
No it isn't others have it worse; but it is still very hard for me
Yes, no one is of a like mind for me to venture together with; this is the second hardest part of all

Do I want a spirituality with a Goddess and God
Do I want a spirituality with a Personal Divine Being
Do I want a spirituality that I really have to be my own leader to
Yes, I think this is nice - I can also see it as being with just The One
Yes, as I think some of us are defined as such that yearn for this personal connection
No. I want a partner. I cannot have this - but I want a satisfying spirituality

Am I willing to try to be my own Spiritual Leader
Am I willing to use whatever time I have available, even if I wish it were more or different
Am I willing to accept that I cannot have the Spiritual Partner I originally wanted
Am I willing to accept the Divine as They are (even if it is all in my head and only upon Death will the Truth be known)
Yes and no
I will try as I can to the best of that moment's ability
I will try my best and maybe swallow pride and take E up on some of her offers to be involved (in hopes she might like it)
This will be hard; like children we want something from Mom and Dad and when we keep asking & we keep getting "No" we think Mom & Dad doesn't care -- I need to go beyond this. Life is not as bad as my stress would have me believe.

*~*~*~*~*~

Last night I wrote this. Now if feel as though I am trapped again. So maybe I shouldn't declare anything for awhile

I dunno

All I know is that after listening to my Pagan music again after a long while without it that I felt a little inspired.

Ouch! My Tooth!!

2010-04-22T14:07:00.001-04:00

Well -- Murphy and his damn laws strike AGAIN. We were planning to have couple teeth pulled in October -- the Jeep will be paid off and so paying the Dr would be easier. BUT.... one of the 2 teeth that were bothering me (prompting the plan above) decided to break a bit.

I felt it in the office, tried to remove it. No luck -- it is caught in between the two teeth! My gum is tender now and right now no real toothache-pain. I had a little throbby pain earlier but it subsided. I called E from work to let her know what was up so we can be aware. Anyways as the conversation went on we decided that we should see if we can get into the dr. But it wasn't as easy as all that. The week of the 10th (of May) is my vacation -- I didn't want to give it up just to pay for the dentist -- we have been planning this for months and months. We rarely get to have fun like this, so in order to do it, we have to plan and save. But while talking to her I started crying. Because Murphy ruined a perfectly sound plan of the October Dental Appointment, the Vacation was in jeopardy and when it rains it pours. Then people started coming by the office -- seeing me upset, they were concerned (when I am crying-upset and someone shows compassion, I generally cry more, not for any extra attention, I just do, I think it has something to do with having only myself to comfort me when I was upset when growing up when I was a latchkey kid.) So E got off the phone with me and called our dentist -- couple more people came by -- I tried to keep it together (stupid people coming 'round in such a fashion I was never able to close my door) Then E called back to tell me that they were able to squeeze me in tomorrow PLUS the office will work with us again on payments, so that in itself is an easy to the mind. (Last dealt with dentist on our anniversary 10-31-08) Plus we decided to cut out one day's activites out of the vacation to help cover the dentist visit(s) so vaykay will still occur!

I took this picture, can't really see it -- but that white bit you can see between the teeth is NOT food -- it is the part of broken tooth!! Sorry you have to see my plaque and yellow stains. :-( I am so bad at taking care of my teeth - I used to be really good, but I was never able to get back on track.

This diagram shows what I have left in my face!

(click on image to enlarge)

Rag Curls!

2010-04-17T13:48:00.000-04:00

Rag Curls! I haven't done these since I was a kid & didn't think to take pix of the rag version.
You can google rag curls and find various basic methods.
I should have pix to better explain the process: In short have damp hair, cloth strips from old tshirt or sheets. Tie the end of rag to a section of hair (or wrap hair around middle of rag) and wrap hair around rag either up to scalp (which is what E did) or stop a little ways from the scalp. Place optional scarf around head without blocking all the rags so it can still dry -- go to sleep and remove rags upon waking (sometimes a few will escape while sleeping)

Anyhoo-- after removal in the morning, put in a bit of hairspray:

And after most of the day at work. They dropped a little bit (thank goodness for the hairspray)

Everyone seemed to like at work - and were disappointed when the next day they were gone.

Religion cannot take away hardship

2010-04-10T10:49:00.001-04:00

I started commenting on Innasstar's comment from my previous post, I noticed I was getting lengthy and figured it might make for a good post.

Thank you Innasstar for commenting. For supporting. *big hugs*

Her comment:

I know many a Witch who has fallen on hard times. Unfortunately, any religion cannot take away hardship. I think a relationship with the divine is for Spiritual growth...and personally...most of my growth is as a result of hardship. Best of luck to you on whatever path you walk.
April 10, 2010 7:07 AM

Thank you again for your feedback. Let me explore this. Let's see how I think about this at this time:

I know religion can't take away hardships. But I don't think hardships should be as many years as ours have without a period or two of "easyships". I know in times of strife we usually turn to religion or the gods. They are suppose to help you out whether it is a change of mind or situation. All I have asked for is a month. A month where life really feels as good as it used to. I've tried everything I can do to make a month good, E does her best but then Mom and Brian with their negativity probably brings on more of our issues (like attracts like). It would be easier to deal with the hardships if these two members of the household would stop exasperating the situation; if they would buck up and be adults, I think I could deal much easier with life. Even something as simple as pitching in and helping with the household chores would be nice and help take out some of the bad feelings.

I still have a basic Pollyanna view, I do. I just have this one aspect in my life that feels empty. I can't seem to fill it right. I also procrastinate a lot and have little time that is to myself or that can be used to do much other than eat and sleep and go to work.

Maybe I will read a bunch of science books and mythos - compare/contrast/enhance.

Maybe I will reread all my pagan stuff -- continue Scott's book and get out meaningful things that apply to me at this stage in my life.

Maybe I was trying to recapture my youthful views that were fine when I was a late teen and in my early 20s -- I am in my 30s now and life is different, very different - I have discovered things I thought I knew about my past was not as I was led to believe...

My mother is no longer my best friend, she is a "teenager" who finds joy in pain and nastiness most of the time (or at least when she is observed by me) She is no longer a rock I can lean on and bounce ideas off of. She also no longer "just talks" to me, she never wants to be around us; she just hides off in her room. She won't talk to me or E about her hardships: "She's the Mother & cannot lean on the Children." (Yeah, when we were little! But now we have some time under our belts and although we may not be able to fix it, we can get it out in the open so it doesn't fester within you, and therefore won't take it out on us like you do.) I digress. We (E & I) invite her to various activities and she 9 times out of 10 declines or leaves in the middle. I mention my mother because in my youth she was a big part of my life and of my fledgling spirituality, even though I found Wicca/Paganism first and later she read about it and liked it. Although now-a-days a lot that comes out of her is (IMHO) seriously violates "Harm None".

E's view on deity is hard to describe, but suffice that with her personalities she is willing to do whatever it takes to make things easier on me. (referencing my previous post) Which I am still unsure about taking her up on.

I am still in awe of Nature and all She provides and reveals to us Humans. I am still drawn to the faceless Goddesses like Acheulian Goddess & Willendorf Venus and several others of similar faceless beauty.

MY QUESTION:

How does one have Spiritual Growth in the midst of Mundane Turmoil? How does one do it in spite of the troubles? Is it like the trying to be happy method: smile / laugh even if you don't mean it because you might be able to trick yourself into actually doing it? In other words go through the motions, learn all you can about personal or non-personal deities and do activities, be active in it and maybe some enjoyment might occur that might chase away some of the gloom, doom and negativity? Playing pretend until it becomes real?

MY ISSUE:

I am not much of a leader. I have trouble being solitary in my spirituality. I would blossom best if I had a physical partner with me on the Path. But I know I do not have this. I know I am alone. Alone. Which right there has me at a disadvantage in my eyes. Which I know is a crazy wall I erected. I would like to break down the wall. I would be trying to create a spirituality within the chaos and within the dark vibes of half the house. It used to be so much easier. I do not deal well with pessimistic/gloomy views or actions.

MY ANALOGY:

I am currently feeling as though I am in a forest: I know there is a path below my feet. I cannot see the path before me or behind me for all the leaves are blowing around me and there is a heavy mist/fog approaching from all sides. My Path is a very confusing place right now. All I dare to do is to shuffle my feet in what I hope is forward. My heart pounds in my chest in anticipation of what is to come. Of the small hope that the wind will quiet enough so that the leaves settle and I can see the path, or move a few leaves from the path to see it more clearly. I can usually see through fog for at least for a few feet in any direction, I have never been in fog that I cannot see my hand in front of my face and hope that once this fog arrives (if it does) it too will allow me to see a little in all directions.

Knock, knock - who's there - nobody

2010-04-09T22:16:00.000-04:00

Well it has been a bit since I tried on Eclectic Pantheist Pagan (as reflected in my banner).

No one has commented in a long time, so I have no springboard.
I feel as though my personal Goddess and God left me, and perhaps was never there (since no matter how much I talked to Them when I have problems or when things are okay, I feel as though we have been let down with the issues we regularly have).
I have followers but no one feeding back on something as milestone-y as seriously doubting the existence of a personal deity. (weird, or am I so freaking boring that no one has un-followed me) I would like to think that if any of you regularly read but don't necessarily comment on everything, that I would at least get something from my previous post.
I am being too sensitive.
I know I shouldn't. I also know there are others with worse problems than us. I am grateful for having a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. I would not change that & want nothing to jeopardize this. However, every week there is a new negativity for me to deal with. Be it Mom or Brian making life difficult because they cannot see past themselves, or a new issue with the car, or new issue with the bills or my hours, or new issue with a house appliance... I am a happy person by nature who lives within the moment she is in -- my anger and depressions do not last long, rarely longer than an hour or two if left to myself.
So when I talk to Deity and ask for relief, and it is not met, and if I have been trying this with various methods and spells and prayers for nearly a decade, with no results, I wonder how real and caring said deity is and if S/He really exists, in a form that is outside of nature itself and therefore cannot actually be prayed to and grant things.
I dunno.
I give up.
I dunno what to do anymore.
Faith.
Religion.
God
Goddess
Belief
Truth
Hope
There is a part of me that thinks I should have something to believe in. Holidays to celebrate outside of birthdays and anniversaries. But what? What is the point if there is no one to worship? What is the point if my partner's view on deity/religion/faith is so different and similar to a sort-of-pantheist view & therefore cannot practice paganism as I do...did? Even though E said she is willing to go through it with me, I say no -- she shouldn't go through motions, it should be something she wants, she says that maybe by doing so she might discover it is something she wants. I still have a problem with her "playing" a part.

To believe or not -- Deities as a personal God/dess

2010-03-27T11:08:00.005-04:00

My Scott Cunningham book has been opened to Chapter 2: The Deities for a while. As my faithful readers know, I have been struggling with my Spirituality for a while. I have been given raw deals in life, hardships that keep coming at me (I cannot disclose a lot on here because of who might see & I do not wish to fabricate), I know I do not have it the worst -- but neither do we have it the best. It makes it difficult for me to believe that there is a actual personal Goddess or God in existence. So what to do?

A while back, in December, I was doing some web surfing and came across a Pantheism site. I scanned the site, bookmarked it; but wasn't ready to do much else with it. This month, or maybe last month too, I started looking up Pantheism sites and information. Bookmarking waiting for when I was ready to start reading this stuff and seeing how true it might ring for me.

Well, the past couple weeks I have been copy/pasting as well as forming my own summaries about what I have learned from several sites and a couple of forums.

I think I am at the point were one could say that my Eclectic Paganism has started a metamorphosis into Eclectic Pantheistic Paganism. This is where I can honor Nature and all Scientific discoveries in perfect harmony without the confusion I am currently having over a Personal God/dess that I pray to and try to talk/commune to regularly and do not get any results. And I have never expected great miracles, just a reprieve from the negativity that might last... let's start small & say a month.

My summary of Pantheism through my research and my Eclectic tendencies: Pantheism is the belief that our world, Earth, is sacred and worthy of reverence as well as every other flora, fauna, mineral, atom, particle in existence. The Universe as a whole is what would be described as a divine force made up of everything in existence. There is no personal god or goddess looking out for us, no one to pray to or make karmic bargains with. Science books and theories and discoveries are all apart of the ever-changing Holy Texts of Pantheism. Gods and Goddesses may be used as symbols to understand Nature and Universe - but not as literal beings. There is no afterlife; there is a return to Nature's Energies that created us. So if you count the passage of one energy-form to another as afterlife/reincarnation/heaven, then yes there is a form of it in Pantheism.

Now I am not saying whole-hardheartedly that I am now waking up this morning and denying existence of the Goddess and God as literal beings separate but within Nature; but I AM allowing myself this as a belief that I will keep in mind. An allowable spiritual practice that might help me. This may or may not change. The point remains that I am not alone in wanting to honor, revere and be in awe of the powerful forces that make up Nature/Universe from the tiniest Atom and Quasar to the largest Redwood and Whale, from the closest Star (our Sun) to the furthest known Hubble-found galaxy. It is those things, flora, & fauna that we can call divine, with divine being defined as our feelings of awe, inspiration, reverence, love, of kith/kinship and an awareness of the enormous power, beauty and mystery inherit in all of Nature within the Universe.

As it stands right now, I am allowing myself the freedom of knowing that the Goddess IS everything and the God IS everything, and They are not outside of anything. That the Goddesses Athena, Isis, Hathor, Cerridwen; that the Gods Apollo, Hades, GreenMan and all the rest are symbols of what have been observed before us. That the Elements are too symbols and manifestations. That with Pagan ideas such as

Earth my Body
Air my Breath
Fire my Spirit and
Water my Blood

are Pantheistic in structure, likewise is...

I am the beauty of the green earth,
and the white moon among the stars,
and the mystery of the waters,
and the desire of the heart of man.

it is interesting to note that Man has honored Nature from the beginning, at first without an overly defined deity. Perhaps this is why I am drawn to the faceless Goddesses like Willendorf. Then as time went on the want of something more personal and familiar was needed or created in the form of specific Gods and Goddesses that represent various facets of Nature and the world around us. Also that the need of nearly all religions is a tenet that states to be nice to other people, and that the word "kind" comes from the Old English word "gecynde" which means "natural" - so although it is natural for us to want to be kind to one another Nature does also teach us survival of the fittest - a seeming conflicting lesson.

I know I am going on and off tangents in this post, if you are still reading -- Thank you :-)

Also, it would still be allowable to have celebrations, even rituals within a pantheistic view of paganism.

site: "The following diagram generalizes contemporary pantheistically inclined viewpoints. Adherents spread across the spectrum, some in the center of a category, others at some point in between. From modern reference book-defined Pantheism, to the strict materialism of Scientific Pantheism, and the broad transcendence of Panentheism, all outlooks consider the Universe divine, and all contain a religious sensibility rich in poetry, mystery, and imagination, kindled by the enthralling wonder of Nature."

The following is excerpt from: site

...But there are others – let’s call them naturalistic pagans, pantheist pagans or atheist pagans - who don’t believe in any supernatural beings, forces or realms. For naturalistic paganism, the pagan gods and rituals are not taken literally but as symbolic expressions of a reverential attitude to Nature, while magick is a kind of therapy or "soul-work" rather than a supernatural way of controlling natural events....

So this is where I stand now. At the hurdle of Divinity defined. We will see if I further my studies in Scott Cunningham's book, or if I turn to various Nature and Universe texts to learn more about the Divine Unity that is Nature within all of the Universe, or a combination.

Ostara 2010 - what we did

2010-03-21T14:41:00.004-04:00

Well this Ostara, E wanted to help me do more than my usual: nothing. So... Friday night we dyed our eggs. "We" was E, Mom and myself -- Brian was a big poopoohead and did not want to participate in anything we did as far as activities go -- but he was more than happy to accept his goodie basket.

We cooked up a bunch of eggs and then when I was draining the eggs -- they decided to stay in the pan, then all of a sudden they fell out, cracking several. :-( But not all -- we just had to be creative with the damaged goods.

I took pix of the eggs in the early Ostara morning. I was lying on the concrete and the morning birds didn't notice me at first:

Some of my eggies:

rawr! monster eggie!

1. Break me

2. Mash my yolk

3. Add Mayo

4. Add Dry Mustard

5. reassemble

My entire clutch

Mom and E's eggies -- I forgot to pay more attention as to whose eggies were done by who.

Then the eggies got turned into what my one egg described!!! (maniacal laughter) DEVILED EGGS!!

Then we 3 took turns and hid the fake eggs (plastic ones filled with candies) inside the house.

Then we enjoyed the fruits of our hunt and the yummy-ness I turned the dyed eggs into.

E's goodies

Brian's goodies

My goodies

Mom's goodies

All in all we 3 had a good time Saturday.

Scott Cunningham Returns

2010-03-14T11:26:00.000-04:00

I am re-reading my first introductory book. Trying to treat it like a serious class-audit attempt. I started yesterday. I hope every chance I get I will pick up the book and do a bit from it.

A while back I set up a blog (so far only I can see it) called WitchWays 101 -- with the idea that I would share my relearning there.

However the idea of GreenWitchWays is supposed to be:

I am a Solitary Pagan. Currently leaning towards Green Witchcraft. "Witch Ways" is a play on words. Which way will I travel as I discover aspects of my (Green) Pagan Path? I will also probably write of more mundane things too.

Which means I should show my relearning here -- maybe I will put it first here, and then on WitchWays 101 (then start publishing for others to see). I dunno, if you are reading, what do you think? I have been reading sections then putting the concept in my own words in one of my viJournals, and allowing myself for small thought-tangents related to the topic.

Anyways Scott Cunningham returns to my Spirituality with Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner (15th printing) ©1996 ISBN: 0-87542-118-0 I got it in November 1996. Amazon has the 33rd printing © 2003 with Scott's BOS included.

I cannot seem to find my copy of his companion book: Living Wicca: A Further Guide for the Solitary Practitioner, my mother has hers, but I want mine with my notes/highlights and without her bad vibes sullying it. Amazon has it here -they are on the 20th printing © 2009 (The cover I used in my image here is what I had/have) I might have to repurchase it so that Murphy can allow me to find my copy; or he (or the fairies) might have lost it on me! Brats!

Freehand Winter Tree

2010-03-13T06:14:00.000-05:00

Thought I would share what I decided to dangle from the freehand winter tree.
Before:

After:

Two leaves - I think oak - that I traced from a search looking for fall leaves. For the leaves I did not treat the plastic with sandpaper roughing up because I had bought some Sharpie® markers and the roughening is for colored pencils. This choice also left the crystal clearness around the leaves. Cool :-)

So what am I so afraid of?

2010-03-11T19:30:00.002-05:00

As you know I am trying to re-find myself spiritually. I have included my mini-prayer heart-alter at work (click here if you do not know what I am talking about) and have tried to maintain a positive attitude (hard when around so many negative talking folks) but that is about it.

I have researched online about free wiccan or pagan courses/lessons -- haven't signed up because I have no time for the structure. I have found some of my beginning books but have not yet re-read them. Part of me feels silly to re-read what I "know" the other parts *raspberries* that part and says it is like auditing a class, or reviewing -taking stock and seeing if my views have changed. But my only real time for reading seems to be at home in the bathroom, like quite a few people! -- which is where I tend to read my novels (usually 2-6 paragraphs on average) -- getting away from reality for a little while, not to study.

But what am I afraid of why don't I do more?

Time is one reason -- I work fulltime and when I am not at work I am in need of spending quality time with my mate, E. And I need to sleep. And I need to work in some exercise soon. I have a sleep deficit it makes everything really hard; I know I am not the only one, just saying I have one too.

The great thing is, that if I ever figure out what I think I need to accomplish spiritual fulfillment - E will do her best to make it happen -- she has even said for me to tell her I need to be alone.

Then I think - great! Then I will have a quality time deficit! Can't win. At least not yet.

Witchy Crafts I Made

2010-03-02T18:47:00.001-05:00

The Maker

I have recently rediscovered my Shrinky Dinks! -- I even have a Shrinky Dink Maker (glorified Easy Bake Oven) Shrinkin' with the power of a light bulb! I want to get a toaster oven for larger projects. I have a few things to share. Most have been traced. Some I would actually wear -- I just need to get some necklace makings or pre-done necklaces that just need the charms on them.

)O( Moon Lady )O(

Forgot what it's called - but also triple moon - triple )O(

Freehand Winter Tree - not sure what I will be hanging from the bottom yet, I just knew I wanted the option

Witchy Cat (traced) worn once via charm trading on the necklace

A couple of traced skulls and the Elements in Triangles (messed up on) and trust me the other thing is supposed to be the Earth & Moon (unfortunately a little dark)

TAH-DAH!

The Broom Closet

2010-02-20T11:20:00.001-05:00

Looking in the archives of Pagan Blog Prompts I found The Broom Closet

Are you in or out of the Broom Closet? Do others (beyond the computer screen) know what you believe and practice? Or is this something, for whatever reason, that you need to keep hidden? Feel free to elaborate, if you like, about why you are still in, or what it was like 'coming out of the closet' to your closest family and friends.

***

When I first stepped onto The Path, at home I was never in the closet. When I first stepped onto the Path I was also a high school student and unemployed. I had plenty of time to do my creative stuff and to devote to my Spiritual Studies. When I finally got hired when I was in my early 20s - at WalMart/Photo Lab - I was still not hidey. Wore various pentacles and pentagrams at work with no one saying anything - I don't even recall a customer giving me a hard time. I always had it in my head that if a problem did arise that I would practically demand all religious wear be banned - why should mainstream get to feel at peace with a crucifix or star of david and I cannot for wearing a pentacle. And I believe at this point I had a copy of When Someone You Love Is Wiccan: A Guide to Witchcraft and Paganism for Concerned Friends, Nervous Parents, and Curious Co-Workers that I like to use for the curious; or maybe I just had The Truth About Witchcraft Today - anyways with either book I feel better about giving to those who are open enough to read. To this day I have a loaner copy of the first book, in case I never get it back -- the second book I only have the one book.

Near the end of my 22 months working at WM I wasn't as active as I once was in my, affectionately nicknamed "Hermit Days". But I still felt good about my spirituality. Even when we were forced to live in a single motel room for nearly 2 years.

Then about a year later and a couple of short-lived retail jobs came and went, I got into a car accident that messed up my shoulder and lower back (pssst it is all in my head cuz I am fat -- at least that is the gist of what "doctors" said over my physical therapy and insurance-paid visits) Anyways, the greatest thing my one doctor encouraged was for me to go back to school. I enrolled the following January.

They had a dress code. Professional attire. This, I believe triggered some of my current semi-closetness and current lack of spiritual activity (recently broken with my Card Candle Prayers) I didn't want to cause a fuss with my large pentacles and pentagrams (most of which are my faves) so for the longest time I wore nothing. When I became a workstudy for the college, I had even less time to wear anything or to do anything -- work 6 hrs, and 1 hr before I had to attend classes for 4 hours = 11 hours of my day (at least 3 days a week; 2 days I just had workstudy -- I was a parttime night student) I was part student part employee which I felt easily put me in a delicate situation. I don't want to rock the boat. I think during my last part of my schoooling I started wearing my SMALL Pentacle necklace. Then I ended up with being offered a Full Time position at the college. This put me back to that mindset. But I now recapture my high school attitude of I have the right to wear what spiritual things I want -- but I still only wear small ones. I feel the students might put up a stink and fear some might try to fight me. But those that ask about my jewelry I tend to tell them I'm Pagan. If they seem interested I loan them the first book I listed above. I have a semi-open minded, considerate coworker that recently borrowed said book. She's been cool.

So I gauge the person inquiring and I base my answers on that. Pagan or Wiccan label for me. I see a lot of WWJD and "I love Jesus" things in addition to crosses and crucifixes and Star of Davids. I feel if I am made to do anything with my item(s) that they should be likewise treated. I hope with all the management that likes me, will be behind me if student or faculty takes offense to me at all. It would truly test the peacefulness of the one member of management who is also a Preacher (or Pastor, I don't remember - Man of the Cloth, regardless I guess)

I want to make some Pagany Jewelry with ShrinkyDinks -- maybe something that is obviously Pagany to me but not so to a casual average observer.

I know I am talking a lot about the jewelry like that makes up the spirituality -- IT DOES NOT -- but my Candle Card Prayers have helped, and I know the jewelry will too -- I am hoping this will bring me back to wear I was before I basically ignored my spirituality to be Professional Business-like.

Nowadays, at home I am still not in the Broom Closet - Mom's a Pagan, Brian's Brian & doesn't much care -- E is supportive it isn't her thing but if I feel I need anything for it she is more than willing to do all in her power it make it happen. I wish it was her cup of

So I am loitering and hovering in and out of the Broom Closet's doorway. I guess...

Taxes & Pressies

2010-02-13T07:06:00.001-05:00

Well I filed and already received my tax return. This year since we didn't have to use it on expensive mundane items (like car fixings & the like) we used to to buy ourselves some nice things - or in my case I bought nice things and some items for work that I wanted. Ever since I found out about iPods I wanted an iPod classic. But they are a pretty pretty penny for something that, if things didn't pop up all the time I could feasibly save up for -- but after I don't know, a half dozen years one tends to get to the point where you figure the only one you will ever have is the 2nd Gen Shuffle you got. But, like I said we could actually indulge this time -- FIRST TIME in 6-8 years I could do that!

So I got it, I got it! I got my iPod classic!!! He he he he -- I ordered it from Apple and got the free custom engraving! I ordered this past WEDNESDAY and received it in the mail YESTERDAY!! You can have 2 lines of text & line one has: Music is the art of the Muses then line two has my cell number written as a long string of numbers (I figure this also works as a sort of personal serial code, smart local people should recognize it as a phone number & call, otherwise I can easily ID my engraving) anyways... beside the personal serial number is my First and Last name. Then when I registered the iPod I currently gave it the (appropriate) name: The Muses. It is the 160GB model and silver/white in color. E got the black one.

My only "movie" so far on it is my BellyDance instructional so that it should give me little excuse to NOT do it when I am able. Even 5 minutes rather than the entire 30 minutes is preferable to Zero minutes. I gotta start exercising again!

So far I have like1150-1175 songs and it has bearly scratched the surface -- he he he he love it! now I can go thru our CD collection & maybe get the vast majority of songs on The Muses or maybe all of it!

Oh I added one game to the defaulted 3 games it comes with: Zuma.

For the office I got a 1 Terabyte external to semi-replace the 245 GB one I have worth of work items sporadically since 2004 & steadily since late 2006. I also ordered on Weds & received Yesterday -- my order from OnlineLabels.com -- 100 sheets each of full sheets and Avery equivalent 8160, I must share this -- those two items including shipping/handling only ran me $27.21USD! In the stores, 100 sheets can easily run you $30-40 USD for one single box of 100 sheets. Plus from this place if you want an odd number of sheets -- like 87, you can order 87 sheets. How awesome is that! Minimum sheet amount seems to be 11 sheets. Plus I got a couple USB hubs (finally a 2.0) for home & work usage and second SD card reader/writer.

Plus E & I went out for lunch to our Special Restaurant. :-) All the spending was done on Wednesday, when the Refund was placed in our account, so it turned out to be a fun day.

I got 11 bucks left in the account & about 11 bucks in my wallet after all that!

Bringin' it to the Office

2010-02-09T06:22:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I went into work and I printed off some prayer cards and pictures of single candles on business card size cards. This went into my heart-alter at work. I can't light candles in the office - so I let's be safe with pictures. :-) And so before I officially started my day I "lit" a candle and said a day-starting prayer. Felt good. Then last night I had found a nice bedtime one and by the time I went to bed I went from memory and had to wing it near the end. But that is okay, from the heart is always best, even if I loose the rhyme. This is a big deal for me. Since early 2000s I had become so lax in my spirituality til it became non-practiced at all. Lazy, lazy, lazy. I will be trying to do the day-starting prayer everyday. I know I will miss some, but that is okay. As long as I mostly do it, then maybe, I hope - I will regain some sense of my former spirituality. My time is thinly stretched so I need to be understanding with myself and do my best. To see the heart-alter click here

Lookee at what I did last night!!!

2010-01-27T21:40:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I got this free version of ArtRage (scroll to bottom to view app) a while back and I've been playing with it off and on -- creating fantasy things so that it would always "look right" -- I decided to do something more real. The program has a tracing feature. I used it.

The original....

"mine"...

he he he I think it turned out well!

Deleted, Appreciation and Vacation

2010-01-23T08:50:00.001-05:00

I said I might delete the rant I did Wednesday about family -- but I saved it in my viJournal -- I really appreciate those that follow and comment. I just did not want to see that post (because of what was stated in it) every time I come back. I got it out of my system. That is healthy.

I never imaged that as of today I would have 11 "followers" it is encouraging; a small handful of you comment. That is okay. I appreciate all feedback. I do not think I am so interesting that I can keep all 11 interested for comment on -- I know that with the ones I follow I do not know WHAT to say sometimes and unless I am one of the 1st couple comments, any sentiments I had might have already been said. All in all I am saying it is cool to be silent and it is cool to be "talkative" I hope none are offended - I am trying to complement, but I just woke up so I dunno how well I am doing -- I'll stop now.

Come May we are planning to have me take my vacation. We never go out of state -- we are poor. To make a vacation happen involves a lot of scrimping and saving and making use of the "extra" paychecks one gets being paid biweekly that falls 3 times in one calendar month as long as the bills have been taken care of with the other 2 checks.

Anyways --we plan to go to 2 zoos (one we frequent and the other is new for us so if we need to nix one it will be the "old" one) and a science museum and maybe a local aquarium that we have been to before too. It should be fun! Can't wait for MAY!

Mild Anaphylaxis (?)

2010-01-17T20:15:00.001-05:00

My poor baby! E sometimes has mild burning sensations when eating tuna or even the fish sandwich from McDonalds (which she cannot even eat half of because about the quarter to half-way point she says she starts to get the burning sensation from the fish)

Shellfish handling has her breaking out in red splotches - so I guess that would be a form of hives (?) so whenever Mom or I have shrimp I need to be the one handling it start to finish.

Well, normally when we have tuna sandwiches be they plain or grilled, SOMETIMES, she will again have the slight burning afterwards - but nothing too bad.

Today for lunch we each had 2 grilled tuna sandwiches. Well -- since then (and her severity has come down since it started) she has hit some of the symptoms of the Anaphylaxis. Not severe enough to warrant an ER visit -- her air way is very much clear -- in fact right now she lays beside me on the loveseat snoring away!!!! (hope she never reads this post!!!)

Her cheeks were flushed, I did not notice any obvious swelling - to me she looked ill; her skin was warm to the touch when we were at Wallyworld -- but when we checked her temperature at home, she was well within the normal range. She looked up Anaphylaxic shock, and noted that she hit on A FEW symptoms (some symptoms she hits on with daily living -- E is one of those in the <1% of the pop that you would otherwise say -go to the dr; but she has so many contradictions to her make-up that it is difficult to say the least -- Greggory House would love to diagnose her!) Her heart-rate seemed affected, she was having labored breathing - not constricting throat; I am sure I am forgetting some of the tuna-related issues she was having, but anyways... We have decided NO MORE tuna for us (I don't want her getting it for me and then we be like, oh lets have tuna, it's quick & easy -- the other two in the house can have it; but we won't -- besides I have grown sick of tuna myself)

Her body's M.O. is to sleep off the illness, unlike mine, her body will practically go narcoleptic on her to make her do it. And when she awakens, she is usually much much better. (my body seems to hate naps, it has to be practically exhausted to do it - and if I know I only have X amount of time, then the only way I can do it is to be exhausted because otherwise my nerves are so hyper sensitive that the slightest noise, even coming from me, can startle me something fierce.)

We had had some porkchops thawing out today - but as I went into the kitchen to figure what to do with them while E slept until I was done -- Mom asked about ordering from one of the two pizzerias that can actually find our house. I went in and asked the groggy E what all she wanted (pizza or maybe chicken or a sub from the pizzeria) she gave the order and Mom & I called the pizzeria -- that is to say Mom called and I stood by prompting Mom to say a few key points so that it wouldn't get messed up on the other end -- normally E calls & she had told me about some key phrases to say so that we get what we want actually delivered. I hope by the time our pizza (no sauce, cheese & extra cheese -- basically a greasy cheese-bread!) and Mom's calazone & Brian's stromboli get here, she will have slept enough for me to wake her to eat. ( I have no fear that I will not be able to wake her.)

Whether it is true mild Anaphylaxis or not, it is rather a moot point -- I take no chances with E, I do not want to see if I remember CPR - no more Tuna for E!

decision made

2010-01-16T17:53:00.000-05:00

I think I finally decided on a tarot card set.

Universal Goddess Tarot

I will let you know how the studies go. Unfortunately I need free quiet time to do this. (That is hard to come by!) And I will start the studies fresh.

I think this will enlarge if you click it.

Damn Back Again

2010-01-16T07:59:00.000-05:00

It's not as bad as it has been but my back is trying to go out again. Achy. Sore, not a happy time for me. Especially as it includes the upper hip kinda area as well.

I wish I could feel free to discuss work-related things on here to tell a lot of my whys and whatfors -- but I am so afraid that someone sometime would stumble upon GWW and recognize what I have said as being from there, not like my opinion (and the things I would say would not be overly nasty, not attacks out on someone, just how someone made me feel or how something went down) it's not like my opinion should be anything to fire someone over but people are so very weird nowadays that I don't want to take any chances as long as I am employed there by force of finance. This is why my work is rarely mentioned or only hinted at.

I didn't really digress there, but suffice to say the back aggravation could have been lessened if communication actually happened at work and people let me know what is going on.

It hurts to bend, to sit, to lay in bed anymore (I just woke up & came here) and I cannot just stand around.

If anyone knows reiki - I accept it; likewise with healing thoughts, wishes and prayers.

In this area of green is where I usually have my pain; sometimes it slides all the way over to the other side of the lower back (see how my active-green area is just shy of it)

Thank you for listening to my rant -- with any luck I will figure out which tarot set to use today. Letchya know the details of that when I know.

Treasures

2010-01-09T00:13:00.001-05:00

Thought I'd share some treasures. Got 'em a while back but I like em.

But first - I have been wanting to bring in a sort of mini-alter thing to work. I had the box I wanted to use for a while (looks unsuspecting) I brought it home last month to fill with Elemental Representatives. I expect to use it as a focal point on bad days, a piece of Divine remembrance, maybe take a moment to reflect. An attempt to bring in the Divine to work. Mainstream gets to, why not me.

This is the box (gift chocolates one year, the label left nasty sticky & I had no Goo-Gone so I put on decorative tape.

Open and see sealed clear bead boxes

on the inner lid - a comforting verse:
North, South, East, West
Give me strength to pass this test
And if I start to feel downcast
Remind me that this too shall pass

Inside the box....

Mini Goddess -- symbol of Divine

Mini river rock/pebbles - symbol of Earth

Pieces of purple feather -- symbol of Air

Matchsticks -- symbol of Fire

Piece of sea glass -- symbol of Water

Each bead box is sealed with metallic silver tape.

Here are some treasures...

Sea Beans -- 3 of these smooth seedpods were added recently

Small starfish -- I like how (of course) the starfish is star-shaped, but then there's the little star in the center that is pronounced and the little "decorative" circle/spheres on it

Sand dollar -- another star symbol. Too bad both the starfish and dollar are too delicate to have at work.

Multi color sea glass. It's silly but I like it.

My leaf has sprouted babies. See the leaves when I first got them.

UPDATE (reference entry)
Still haven't decided about which Tarot to start with; then again I haven't had time to do very much. I don't want to be overly tired when I start working with Tarot, so I want to be able to give it my all. I will keep you posted.

Tarot Choices - your assistance please :-)

2010-01-05T21:24:00.000-05:00

Good Evening All -
I would like your input. Not sure if I will implement the most popular answer or if I will get no "winner". However, I got Tarot for Yourself [1-56414-588-3] as a Yule gift. Originally I was trying to do the exercises for ALL 3 of my decks... I have done one exercise through nearly all of the cards from the three decks, and I am like OMG - what am I doing. There is NO way I am going to truly learn any "Tarotness" if I am juggling.

Now I need to figure out which one to focus on...
So that is where you come in, put your 2¢ worth in; which deck do you like? You should be able to click the pic to see it larger.

My first deck (the one that I kept; traditional Rider-Waite & I didn't speak to each other at all) is
SACRED CIRCLE TAROT

then I got TAROT ART NOUVEAU

and this Yule, received UNIVERSAL GODDESS TAROT

Goddesses featured:
2 of Wands: Ataentsic (Iroquoian Goddess)
2 of Chalices: Psyche (Greek Goddess)
2 of Swords: Fides (Roman Goddess)
2 of Pentacles: Hemera & Nyx (Greek Goddesses)

I thank you in advance.

Once I decide which deck to use, I might redo the exercise I did so that I can fairly give the chosen deck my undivided attention.

New background

2010-01-04T20:22:00.000-05:00

I snagged this retro background this evening. What do you think?

Anyways -- my back is much better today. Thank you for all of your healing thoughts and wishes.

However...

This morning about 12:30am, awoke mostly because of tooth pain. upper right molar side. kept mostly awake for 2-3 hours. This was in addition to dealing with back tenderness/pain from my newest back muscle injury. I find anbesol rather useless, yet I know I will attempt to use it again and again. I will try chewing whole cloves tomorrow if it acts up again. Can't afford to visit the dentist until nearly the end of the year (barring abscessing) - so I will deal with natural combatants and acupressure. I tried aleve this morning at about 8:30 and received no relief during the 8 hrs it was supposed to be in my system. I have low pain tolerance and high medicine tolerance - not an easy combo...

Back Pain

2010-01-03T16:38:00.000-05:00

Well, for the past few months (say 3-4) I have had to take at least 1 day off work each month - not an exact month apart, but still one in each calendar month. It is the lower back. The same general area that was hurt in the car accident over 6 years ago. But since I've a desk job that requires me to sit for nearly 8-9 hours every single workday then I also have the lower back stress of that. I think that one opened the door for the other -- but that's not all folks! if you call in the next five minutes you will remember that I am morbidly obese - so I carry more weight on my middle so it can in fact pull more on my lower back! Yeah! *sniff, sniff* did I lay the sarcasm on too thick or just right?

Anyways, Saturday morning I had gone outside to the front porch and just enjoying Momma Nature in Her cool glory - I went to go back inside when my back (not lower, but more to the side) spasmed, tightened, cramped, whatever term you want to use - I prefer HURT -- from that point on, yesterday, I was in a great deal of pain we did the cold/heat alternation --tried to find a comfortable place to sit -- rising and sitting hurt.... Tried various stretches... still was pained and irritable all day.

Last night I went to bed with my old friend the heating pad under me where it hurt the most.

Today I am tender. Afraid that tomorrow at work I might hurt it further. Due to start menses in the next few days which often cause backache. So ultimately I am screwed.

My Winter Solstice - My Yule

2009-12-26T13:50:00.002-05:00

Merry Meet -
It just dawned on me that I failed to write in a while. We celebrated Yule on Friday the 18th after everyone got off work -- because on the weekend and the 21st everyone worked and we all knew that dvd movies were a large part of the gifts for all. We figured to give the opportunity to watch over the weekend the movies. Anyways, we all seemed to thoroughly enjoy it -- what we did before friday was each open ONE stocking gift each day before our Yule. We knew that the stocking gifts were the "not-so-good" gifts, the tide-overs (or in some cases just candies) but it allowed us to open SOMETHING and not disturb the tree! Wait I take that back, there were a couple days when we opened a single Tree Gift due to a really really crummy day!

Wanna see the tree!

Gift-eye-view... sorta

Artistic view of the pressies

Weird angle cuz I technically was too lazy to move around to get the picture right side up so this is me turning the picture instead! Got some artist-quality colored pencils (can be used wet too for a watercolor look), the green frog is a screen cleaner, got 3 optical illusion coloring books - with CD so that reprints are a cinch, got a font collection book, a windspinner, finger crocheting book, DVD of the Scarlet Pimpernel, Tarot for Yourself workbook and Universal Goddess Tarot, dang it! I can't remember everything else I got, & it isn't like it was a whole lot, -- I knew I should have written this then! But I got sidetracked.

Anyways it was a good time, I enjoyed it and so did every one else, no one was cranky this year!

Frustration

2009-12-11T22:41:00.000-05:00

Okay, as you know I am trying to swim upstream - recapturing my faith. I like paganism.

But my mom isn't the same since dad died in '05 and before that, she had begun to change when we lost the house that should've been the one we owned. And she became pagan shortly after I did, but with her changing from one of my best friends & mom to a stranger & mother... I can no longer talk to her about it and get quality feedback and suggestions.

E thinks of it as "its her religion, not mine" but unlike a lot of people's mates, mine tries very hard to be supportive & regularly tells me if there is anything I need or want to help me & my faith to let her know and "we will get it" or "we will make it happen".

Seems pretty cut and dry.

It's not. Then I think, it might be easier to become an agnostic or even atheist I have even done some mild research on it and am not 100% put off by it. It's on a back burner. Once I stumbled upon Religious Naturalism & need to further some research on that.

But it all comes down to no matter what I seek I receive no partnership in the quest. No one-on-one support. Finding a coven or group is impractical for me. My one hope when I was younger was to have a mate who was also my religious partner, I will not get this. E is willing to help or participate if requested & she'd let me know if she was ever uncomfortable - but it isn't the same. It is not the same as if she was interested, or wanting to convert or whatever. It just isn't the same, I feel like I am trying to convert her if I talk about aspects of paganism, I know she sees it only as support but i guess i feel as though it is sorta like i am talking to someone who is humoring another who is telling tall tales.

does any of this make sense?
Why do I think I need more than me? Why do I seem to need validation from E? There are plenty of multi-faith mates & families that work well together; be it all participatory together or supportive of each other separately.

Peace

2009-11-28T08:25:00.002-05:00

Peace Prompt via Pagan Blog Prompts

How do you manifest Peace in your life and world?
What does Peace mean to you?
What are your religious/spiritual beliefs on Peace?

This prompt is from a while back.

I manifest Peace in my life/world by trying not to make mountains out of molehills. I try to keep it cool or talk it out if whatever is bothering me. I also say a little prayer when needed, repeating several times if needed (I don't remember where I found it) ...

North, South, East, West

Give me strength to pass this test

And if I start to feel downcast

Remind me that this too will pass

If that one won't work...

Which is something just said to vent. My intent is to vent. Magick works a lot with intent and visualization - which is what I do, visualize the venting going into the Universe.

Peace to me means a state of tranquility. A state of harmony. A state of being that allows for differences, even a heated debate, but one where tempers do not have to go off the deep end. A state where disagreement is not able to get to a dangerous boiling point - at most it gets to the simmering stage then fizzles out gracefully. Peace to me is not the opposite of war, at least not the way most people define it as peace which seems to be a utopia situation that will never last. Utopia goes against our very natures as humans.

Not sure how to answer my religious views regarding Peace. Unless you count Harm None. If you are able to follow Harm None in that barring survival and food needs and the fact you are huge and may not see you've stepped on an ant -- which other large animals do too by the way (IE don't' over-interpret the Harm None or you will forever be overly cautious and miss out on life, plus the overly cautious seem to also be vegetarians because of Harm None, which for me makes little sense for a reason, you are murdering plantlife just as you are animal life when you eat. Life was designed to need life to survive. I digress) -- If you are able to follow Harm None, then a state of Peace should naturally slip into place.

Gap

2009-11-22T22:27:00.001-05:00

I've seen this year's Gap commercial quite a few times. And so I went online to look for it and I found link after link of idiotic Xian Fundies that think this is the most horrible commercial ever.
It says:
Two, Four, Six, Eight, now’s the time to liberate
Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, Go Kwanza, Go Solstice.
Go classic tree, go plastic tree, go plant a tree, go add a tree,
You 86 the rules, you do what feels just right.
Happy do whatever you wanukkah, and to all a cheery night.

And they are like "Gap is comparing Xmas to the pagan solstice -- bad evil witches/witchcraft" And they are actually trying to do a boycott. Man I can't tell you much this sounds like Jesus and his teachings. Nevermind they are trying to include some major celebrations.. They can't include everything or please everyone. Since usually at most a company will mention Christmas and Hanukkah and occasionally Kwanza. One site was like what about Festivus? Again, can't please 'em all. American Family Association (AFA) apparently also are offended by "christmas" decor called holiday decorations -- WTF!! Who the hell died and made them the grand high dictator. Certainly couldn't be Jesus. And who informed them that the only day in December was Xmas Day.

I just went to Gap online and did the contact us to email them a thank you. And hope they don't pull or edit out the other days.

As is WalMart only ever mentions Xmas this and Xmas Holidays that. Should be Winter Holidays to include it all. But wait! The AFA says they hate Xmas, they're anti-xmas! But I suppose we are used to it. I am not overly sensitive to it, just like it when we were mentioned.

Some articles about this...
Christian Group Claims Gap’s Holiday ad Promotes Witchcraft
Gap's Christmas cheer makes a boycott backfire
War on Christmas comes to Minnesota

Anyways my major thing was that people were actually upset - this blew me away - they included 4 holidays that are important to the citizens, and still they fundies cannot stand being next to another holiday. They see it as being compared to. Geez!

Update:
(a) I took off the YouTube of the commercial
(b) they replied back, appreciative
(c) either itt is obvious it got pulled or it only had X number of runs in its original concept

So far NO PAIN

2009-11-14T09:59:00.000-05:00

Okay, this my gross out some by it being the topic -- so if Menses grosses you out -- don't read any further on this post.

According to MyMonthlyCycles.com (I keep track there) my current cycle pattern had me due to start Menses 11/8/09 and usually within 2 days of whatever date, if not on the dot, I do start. So I was prepared. I wore my "emergency" ultra thin overnight pads prior, noticed I had no PMS/cramping a week prior. Cool. Sunday went by. No spotting, nothing. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. O gosh could it be that this is my SECOND ever skipped period?! I skipped once when I was first starting and since evolution has currently made it impossible for two female humans to breed naturally, I know anytime I skip it is not because I am with child. ;-) Thursday. Thursday evening is when I told E "I may be jinxing this but I haven't started yet, it may be that I may be skipping for the 2nd time ever." Well, whether it was jinxed or my deep dark assumption, I spotted late Thursday night, so I consider that to qualify for Friday as First Day.

BUT - no pain. Normally I have at least some pain, at least mild cramping at some point - it used to be only in the first two days, now it can be at any time as long as there's the blood. I am not wishing any pain. I am thanking the Goddess and God at the reprieve. No pain before the actual period; none -so far- during. For this I am so very thankful. Part of me wonders if They know how much I appreciate a month without physical pain due to Menses. Then the other part, of course, is like -- DUH! Then a quite part of me thinks, if They created you, they have humor & therefore think that those dueling thoughts are silly, but understood.

Thank you for bearing with me on a much Taboo subject for some.

Music - Eclectic

2009-11-12T21:59:00.002-05:00

Prompt: Music

Let's talk about music today.... whether it be the kinds you listen to during ritual or meditation, or music that helps connect you to your spiritual side while doing daily activities, or music you avoid. Feel free to take this topic and run with it - include embedded music files, or links to your favorite artists. Toss around some lyrics that really speak to you, or just talk about what music styles you like for certain uses....

Music is one of my favorite things, and I love being able to jump around between the hard rock stuff or the instrumental, from the pop to dance to techno. Every piece of music speaks to a part of our soul, and here's the chance to acknowledge and explore those.

*~*~*~*~*~*~* )0( *~*~*~*~*~*~* )0( *~*~*~*~*~*~* )0( *~*~*~*~*~*~* )0( *~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well a sampling of my Pagan stuff is here on my blog. More of my Pagan Tunes include, as of 11-12-09 I have one or more songs by:

Alchemy VII (LISTEN via Last.fm)
Alexian (LISTEN via his MySpace page - a few songs only, available for iTunes download & other places)
Anne Hill (from Circle Round And Sing -- couldn't find any listening links)
Coven 13 (LISTEN to a couple via Last.fm - my album/songs is from Book of Shadows)
Damh the Bard (LISTEN via his site)
Dar Williams (LISTEN to my 1 song covered by her via YouTube)
Elvendrums (LISTEN to samples via their site)
Emerald Rose (LISTEN via Last.fm)
Gaia Consort (LISTEN via Last.fm) usually have tracks available for free-download; it's tricky, unless things have changed, the right link to click seems to be the one on the song page itself in the black player box where the song is listed below the controls.
Heather Jinmaku (LISTEN via Last.fm)
In Her Name (LISTEN to samples)
Kellianna (LISTEN via Last.fm)
Lady Isadora (LISTEN to samples)
Lisa Thiel (LISTEN via video)
Michelle Mays (LISTEN via her site - click music)
Omnia (LISTEN via Last.fm)
Pandemonaeon (LISTEN via their MySpace - songs from album I do not have)
Rick Hamouris (LISTEN via Last.fm)
Sharon Knight (LISTEN via her site) {her & Winter are Pandemonaeon}
Shining Wheel Pagan Chorus (LISTEN via MySpace)
Sona (LISTEN via yahoo) {Pagan music, country style - at least according to the 2 songs I have}
Spiral Dance (LISTEN via SoundClick)
Spiral Rhythm (LISTEN via Last.fm)
Three Weird Sisters (LISTEN via Last.fm)
Wendy Rule (LISTEN via Last.fm)

These Pagan artists span various styles from simple chants / a cappella to rock. I am always visiting Last.fm and Pandora and more recently Sound Click to discover more Pagan music, or mundane music -- feel free to check out my obscure tunage -- if they offer it ;-) and definitely discover musical gems of your own!

NOTE: on Last.fm if the words "full track" follow - that's right you can listen to the full song on demand (up to 3 times in a session, there is no pause) Pandora doesn't work quite on demand as Last.fm they have different licensing contracts as far as I can tell, plus one is uk and one is usa.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~

Mundane Tunes go from filk and folk to country (classic and modern) to pop, rock, metal alternative, and all sorts in between. I love putting iTunes on iTunes DJ on my Music Library because of the weird mixes that have been known to occur. Let's see what the 1st 20 songs will bring us...

Song (artist if known / album if known) [any notes of interest]

Parts of a Cell (Hip Science / The Human Body 101) [researched medical/science related songs for school]
Womb Music (Calmsound / Sweet Dreams - Baby Calming Sounds to Aid Sleep) [used in a nature mix to aid sleep]
Majoring In Minors (Sugarcult / Lights Out)
The Song On Neffertiti's Radio (Joshua Kadison / Delilah Blue)
Dessert (Jim Gaffigan / Beyond the Pale) [comedian, stand-up]
Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah (James Baskett / Classic Disney Vol. 1: 60 Years Of Music & Magic)
Zoot Suit Riot (Cherry Poppin' Daddies / Zoot Suit Riot)
Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby (Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five / Louis Jordan: Let the Good Times Roll) [This one, I believe it is this one at any rate, was partially "sung" by Tom in a Tom & Jerry when he's trying to woo a girlcat - I like to find the partials from the old Saturday Morn cartoons to see if I like it in its entirety]
Big Girls Don't Cry (Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons / Dick Clark's #1s 50s To 70s_Disc 3)
I Put a Spell on You (Marilyn Manson / Smells Like Children) [Marilyn Manson covers are almost always interesting!]
The White Collar Holler (Stan Rogers / Between the Breaks… Live!_Remastered)
The Case Against Cinnabons (Jim Gaffigan / Beyond the Pale) [comedian, stand-up]
Blessed Be (Heather Jinmaku / The Balance)
29 Reasons (Science Groove) [another medi-educational]
I Am (Bon Jovi / Have A Nice Day)
Born to Let Our Brilliance Shine (Pandemonaeon / Pandemonaeon)
Berrywood Grove (Sharon Knight / Incantation)
Blackjack (Everclear / Slow Motion Daydream)
Freaky Friday (Aqua / Aquarius)
Back 2 Good (Matchbox Twenty / Yourself Or Someone Like You)

Zombie -- a little late!!

2009-11-07T19:47:00.000-05:00

Get it?! A little late!! Zombie! ha ha ha ha

Seriously, we were allowed to dress up for Halloween, only on 10-29-09 (Thursday). Had a costume contest, I did not win anything, however the one coworker that did gave me her prize (gas gift card) because of my birthday being that coming up Sunday - and we had just celebrated it in the office with a select few people. Actual 10/31 as you know doubles as me & E's anniversary so I was preoccupied with that.

Originally I was just going to wear the halloweeny shirt but another (different) coworker wanted me to dress up too, so I said I'd dress up the shirt more, she was happy with that-she didn't want to be the only one in our little department dressed up.

Here is me as a Zombie (note the moss I had to walk through!)

Sand Therapy and Lentil Therapy

2009-11-06T19:35:00.000-05:00

SAND
When it is clean (or what I will accept as clean when it is outside -- I am referring to how beaches and other places are kept tidy, or lack thereof) I love the feel of sand. It is soothing to just put my fingers through it. Just loosing myself in the coolness.

I made a Sand box. Portable. Technically I need to get more sand for it, but it is a start.

LENTILS

Or any dry beans really -- work kinda like the sand -- like to play in it. It is also calming. I got some lentils for the occasion :-) I might buy another box, but for now I have my bowl.

Naturally... Good (or Good Naturally)

2009-11-01T19:05:00.001-05:00

Gotta share these with ya... Recently received the following gems & some of the buggies FREAK- OUT coworkers which I shamefully adore.

Leaf -- is one of two bought. According to its card: It is a "Life Plant" (Bry-oh-fi-lum) Lives on Air "This remarkable leaf produces roots & then sprouts. Pin to drapery & it will produce 1 leaf at a time with no water necessary, OR lay leaf on rich damp earth. Do not bury it. Keep earth damp. Roots will take hold & grow plants 2-3 ft tall producing exotic blooms like tiny lanterns. Blooms in February when full grow. Keep out of direct sun & from freezing."

I have one leaf attached a dowel on the wall. The bag is what contained a Yule gift one year from E. (pictured left) The other leaf is attached to a bell. (pictured below) In front of the bell is a little brown "rock" -- it is not a rock, it is a sea bean. "They are the seeds (or the fruit) of tropical plants that float down rivers or streams, then across oceans to wash onto our shores and begin a new life. Sea beans have very hard outer casings and internal air pockets which allow them to float in the ocean, sometimes for years, before they germinate."

I just looked around Google and the best I think I can come up with (since the store just labeled them as Sea Beans) is Entada rheedii, Mimosaceae so until I am proven incorrect, that is what I think it is. Origins are "Widespread in tropical Africa. Also on the coast of KwaZulu-Natal, India to China, Philippines and northern Australia"- and with FL Hurricanes and the natural Drift of the ocean, I see it as possible.
Also pictured to the left is a shell sitting on top of a thick glass bowl and that tiny bottle has little pebbles of Citrine. And Mom backhandedly gave me that clear glass ornament; part of me rather not keep it because of how it was given - the other part doesn't want to give her that kind of power.

Here are the bugs. Each one is real. They are either bracelets or keychains. They are encased in clear plastic, in a style not unlike a bug getting caught in sap that turns to amber. Only here, since it is clear, you can see all the fine details. Being safely behind plastic like this is as close as I can get to study them. In fact they inspire me to work on my various bug phobias. But that is a topic for another day.

Wasp (?)
View: looking down on

Wasp (?)
View: belly

Ant with "seed"
View: looking down on

Beetle of some form. This one is one of the few specimens that seem to have some air bubble flaws.
View: looking down on

Beetle of some form. This one is one of the few specimens that seem to have some air bubble flaws.
View:belly

Some kinda spikey spider
View: looking down on

Some kinda spikey spider
View: belly

Click any picture to see it a little larger

Half Wheel Decided (?)

2009-10-27T07:18:00.001-04:00

Well, I think I have my cut-down. I needed a cut-down of "pressure". I never truly did a lot of the holidays, but at least having the list shortened might have it so that I will officially celebrate more. I'm just trying to work with the insanity of my brain ;-) I am hoping that after a few cycles that I will then add in other celebrations. We'll find out...

As you can see, I apparently cut it in half literally; leaving 2 solid days & 2 traveling days (1 Solstice & 1 Equinox)

First up is Shadowfest. I re-looked it up and Shadowfest is the Strega (Italian) name. It is Disting that is the Norse name. I figure mixing the names isn't bad. I am not Celtic, so using Celtic names isn't true to me. The only ones that would be true to me is if I used Nordic/Scandinavian and Welsh. But just because I presumably have that background doesn't mean everything about it will speak to me. I have more than one cultural background, so my faith is okay to reflect that.

Shadowfest is also our Anniversary. I think we are dressing up to give out candy for Halloween kids, but I am not sure. We used to enjoy the dress up game & we were talking about doing it again, bring back the good feelings. I'd like to read some Shadowfest stories.

Gotta go to work, see ya later.

Book of Shadows - Blog Prompt

2009-10-23T22:55:00.003-04:00

Prompt: Book of Shadows

This was a suggestion by one of our regulars, and it will surely bring a wide range of answers.....

What is your Book of Shadows/Grimoire like?
Is it digital or hand-written? A spiral bound notebook, loose leaf pages in a binder, or in a handmade binding?
What kinds of things do you keep in this book, and what things do you leave out or reserve for another book?
If you are willing, perhaps take a picture or two to share with us.
How do you ensure the safety of this information? Where do you keep it?

Well... I have my old books, handwritten.

>>>>> This one is my original BOS. It is mostly made as a result of the Scott Cunningham books Wicca & Living Wicca. It has how to cast circle, about the Law of Power, Words to the Wise, Basic info on Sabbats, Full Moon Rite, et cetera

>>>>> This one is my "CPIB" book. That is: Chants, Prayers, Incantations and Blessings. Kinda self explanatory. In addition to the actual CPIBs there are entries about proper attitude to have when addressing Deities, the nature of prayer, and a lot of other helpful information.

>>>>> This is my book o' holidays. Sabbats and other holy-days.

>>>>>>> This is a kind of miscellaneous book. It has Color Relationships, Enhancing Everyday Spirituality, Symbolism, Divination Info, Craft Name Info, Birthstones, Flowers, et cetera.

>>>>> Finally "By Kynde Sooth" is Latin for "By Nature (Instinct) Truth" Entries from books & almanacs. I have in this one: Charge of the Goddess (rewritten by Starhawk from Doreen Valiente) * The Charge of the Goddess (based on D. Valiente's written by Silver Ravenwolf) * The Rede * a little entry by Plutarch * A Wiccan Creation Story (Silver Ravenwolf) * Isis (Sibyl Moonflower) * The Witches Triskele (Jim Garrison) * A Moon Myth (Chris Cooper) ...and a few others.

Lately I have been attempting to create a more visual BOS/Grimoire by using a powerpoint-kind-of-program, set for print-quality, that consolidates the information in an easy to read & visual manner that appeals to my visual-learning process. Plus this will make (once I am done) an easier tool to explain things to E. Plus it may help me better solidify my own thoughts on things.

Weight Loss Blog

2009-10-23T21:44:00.000-04:00

I started a new blog today.

I thought I would write my thoughts on my progress. Hopefully I will do a good job of documenting how I feel about how I am doing.

See it here.